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i am starting to realise how detrimental & unfair it is to not only myself but also the people around me because i then hold them to unreachable standards.
we are learning!! not there yet but slowly and surely
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Perfectionism is rooted in an irrational desire to exert control in order to achieve a specific outcome. It often also comes from a critical self that has internalized the message that one has to be perfect to be worth loving rather than being able to trust that people who love you will love you unconditionally despite or even because of your imperfectionsā¦
Jun 18, 2024
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letting ppl down is inevitable. i donāt strive for it but itās brought me peace knowing that to be a human is to disappoint here and there.
Sep 3, 2024
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I have really delayed so much of my healing by clinging to certain people or ideas, forgetting that life doesnāt often turn out the way that you imagine. (It can be better than you imagine if you simply let it happen!!) I have been living my life in devotion to āwhat-ifsā and half baked desires instead of just enjoying who I am, what I have and whatās in front of me. No more of that!!! What good can come out of forcing it? Iām trying to go with the flow and give myself permission to change and accept the change around me and be happy.
Oct 24, 2024
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i know it sounds so clichĆ© but i work for a climate organisation & i just came home from a work event so iām feeling very inspired/energised/refreshedā¦please find your community because it is tiring, draining, & almost impossible to drive social change alone. you donāt have to do it alone.
A community helps your cause. We protest, meet, rally, & cry in numbers for this reason. š
Jun 29, 2024
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i really also think about how much boys are taught ways to perform masculinity & how it is legitimised through tangible things like building a career etc but with women i find that from a young age our identity, behaviours, & thoughts are always spoken about in relation to other people/things ā gender roles within the family, how weāre perceived by men, our friendships with other women, our relationships with material things etc etc ā and this shows up in the labels that women are often given too! so and so is someoneās daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother etc etc. i envy the freedom of boyhood so much, the freedom to just be (this is not to discount the toxicity of traditional masculinity, i just think that boys are still afforded more āplayā and therefore have more opportunities to develop their sense of self).
maybe i am also biased because of how iāve grown up & whatnot but i never really understood what it meant to quote unquote be a woman or perform femininity. i only saw this modelled within my nurturing friendships with women as iāve gotten older but when i was younger, in church it was always āok well donāt do this or that because x y z will happen to men if you doā or within my extended family it was often āare you seeing anyone? when are you having kidsā. damn what happened to asking about how iām doing or what my dreams are!!!
long rant sorry !! but thatās my long winded way of saying āi feel youā haha
Jun 28, 2024
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I have the worst fear of staying in one place for too long (both literally & metaphorically) but I think whatās even more dangerous than that is the desire to stay in that rut forever even though itās not serving you !! That happens to me because Iām so scared of failing or to be seen trying for something but not reaching it in the end.
I am feeling so inspired after coming home from a concert & I am allowing myself to bask in that sense of renewal !! Like wow itās okay that I want to write again despite not doing so for months now! Itās okay that Iām getting into photography again after not honouring my commitment to practise it in the past few months! I am learning more and more from personal experience + observation that some doors only open at the right time and there are times when the right thing to do is to actively pursue something, while there are times when we have to sit still + wait and see
Jul 17, 2024