I’m about to turn 30 and idk if my 21 year old self would approve of where I’m at—but my 6 year old self sure as hell would!! I think a lot of life is finding your way back to Little You.
Being 21 is so so hard, and in college you’re first starting to see that you can’t judge your progress based on other people. Even though that’s how you were taught to judge yourself up until this point. The things you want now probably won’t matter to you in a few years, and for me that would have sounded terrifying at 21. But that doesn’t mean the things you want now aren’t important.
You can think of it in terms of tattoos. If you get a tattoo at 16 it’s not because you know it will represent you always and forever—it’s to commemorate a moment, a feeling of boldness you wanted to wear proudly. And down the line you don’t look at it with regret, but a softness for that younger part of you. Feel your feelings fully in this moment! Be bold with what you care about! Every age is special.
Practical advice:
Try to listen to your body and not your head. Do I actually like how I feel spending time with this person? Am I going through the motions of this hobby because I think it will service something else? Does xyz come naturally to me, or does it feel forced? No action needed. This exercise isn’t about flipping your life upside down, just take notice of how your body feels in certain situations. Start to notice when you’re in fight or flight versus happy and free. Find the ease and follow it
Jan 25, 2025
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This could change when I hit 40 (lmao), but the older I get, the more confident I know who I am. I feel more and more sure of myself, and less and less concerned with how others view me.
My life is my own, and comparing it to other's is a disservice to myself and the path I'm now on.
Do I still experience guilt, regrets, doubt? Of course I do.
Do I know what I'm doing with my life? I might have less of a clue than I did in my twenties.
Do I still feel like a weird little freak, like I did in my teens? Hell yeah, some stuff just never changes.
I still enjoy things I loved as a child, like video games, Pokemon, stuffed animals, and giggling.
I still enjoy things I loved as a teen, like pop punk music, being annoying, and singing whenever the mood strikes.
I still enjoy things I loved in college, like dancing enthusiastically, writing amateurish poetry, and crushing on women who will never, ever be into me.
But now I'm just...30. More health issues. More scars. More silvery hairs that sparkle in the sun like some vampiric trope made real.
But also...more memories that sweeten with time. More time spent in awe and revelry. More reveling in the beauty of nature. More of my own innate nature revealed to me as I sit with myself more, alone.
I feel thirty, flirty, and thriving. I also feel as a child, as a teen, as a drunken young adult, bumbling around without knowing if what I'm doing is right.
I'm just doing my best. That's all you really can do; embrace how you are now, and how you are tomorrow, and again, and again, and again.
May 13, 2024
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I've almost been in my 30's for 5 years and I've loved it. There's something about it that has been deepening and richening. I focus more on what matters to me, and cultive how I want my life to look. My 20's was wild and chaotic and a lot of hard inner and outer work. I still work hard, but I'm reaping the benefits of it a bit more now. I'm busy yet relaxed. I feel like I did the hard work earlier that I'm now really benefiting from.
When I turned 30 I wrote out 30+ lessons that I learned. I never shared it at the time because it felt egotistical lol, but it's actually pretty good so I'll share it here! Aging is a gift!! Embrace your fully formed brain. You'll always be changing and growing, but you're entering this beautiful space where you're still young and can relate to young folks, but you have enough experience to relate to older folks too. It's a blast!
Mossy Elfie's Hard Earned Lessons from her 20's
1. Laughter is truly the best medicine. KEEP PLAYING!
2. Express love to those you love as often as possible.
3. Learning to communicate effectively is the greatest tool you can have.
4. Being upfront about how you feel may lead to getting hurt, but will 100% benefit you in the long run.
5. There are lessons in every experience. This doesn’t excuse trauma, but can help heal it.
6. Sometimes when a therapist or someone you love calls you out on your shit, you can feel it’s untrue because it actually is, or because you’re being defensive. Learn how to discern between the two.
7. Questioning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs isn’t threatening, even if it feels like it. There’s no harm- if it’s true, it’s true. If not, you can begin to change.
8. It’s true, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important.
9. People are doing the best they can with the tools they have.
10. Listen to actions, not words. Even good people with the best intentions have flaws, and that’s okay.
11. Everyone’s path is different, and it’s so easy to judge. It’s a good idea to learn how to detach from that. Let people live!! Including yourself.
12. Even if it’s bs, having faith the universe has your back provides endless calm and a sense of being loved + protected.
13. Children and animals will heal your soul. Volunteering at an animal shelter is always a good idea. Seriously, go do it.
14. You don’t need to know all the steps or even have a clear end goal, but you do need a vision to work towards and the immediate next step.
15. Friends will come and go- that’s natural. It’s okay to be sad about it. A loss is a loss.
16. If something is consistently making you miserable, that’s a good sign it’s not for you.
17. Go towards what brings you joy, especially regarding vocation. This doesn’t mean it won’t be stressful or annoying at times, but the main feelings should be joy + accomplishment.
18. Despite what the culture tells you there is no timeline or rule book. Do whatever TF you want! But! Be healthy in that.
19. Crying, yelling, breathing, laughing, hugging all helps… a lot. EMOTE.
20. Everyone is working on something different, but we’re all striving for balance.
21. Your body changes constantly. I know the overarching message is to change it, but your body is a miracle. Being alive is a miracle! When you’re feeling down about your body, that’s a sign to give it a ton of love, NOT to try and change it.
22. Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. You can forgive someone and not have them in your life.
23. Everyone truly has their own individual experiences, which is equally beautiful and terrifying to me.
24. No one can be forced to change. It only happens when they are ready. It doesn’t matter if all the facts are known, it won’t happen until the internal shift does.
25. BREATHING will help solve every problem. Always begin and come back to deep breaths.
26. Change and growth can be hard. They can be really scary. But it’s not impossible. Everyone has the capacity to change.
27. Having empathy for others allows you to act from a space of love, even in anger. That doesn’t mean being a doormat for people’s behavior, it just means in your anger you’re treating them with love and respect.
28. We are all ever changing, evolving beings. The work never stops- it’s a lifelong process.
29. You have and are going to make a ton of mistakes. You are going to hurt people. Please forgive yourself. No one benefits from you feeling eternally guilty, especially yourself. Take responsibility, have remorse, learn the lesson, and let go.
30. Nothing is permanent, especially feelings and thoughts. Soak up each moment and let it pass. Nothing bad will last forever, but neither will the good. It’s all an ebb and flow so, flow.
31. It’s so important to be honest with how you’ve been wounded. It’s equally important to be honest with how you’ve wounded others. You need to heal from both.
32. Soak up and cherish every moment. Truly, seriously. That is what life is all about- experiences and the way you feel. Even my worst moments, I’ll probably never feel that way again. I treasure it all.
33. My god, life can be so hard. Just be fucking kind to one another.
34. The darkness always fades into light. The light always comes back. I promise.
Dec 3, 2024
I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick.
But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things.
I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future.
The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world.
I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace.
And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself.
u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is.
x
Jun 12, 2024
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1d ago
a sacred ritual! a cute moment! an act of self love. i can be picky about it and i love that
Jan 22, 2025
Feb 3, 2025