I’m at the workshop of some guy to get a jacket chain stitched. The workshop is in a building behind a house in Chicago. If you’ve been around here, you know what I’m talking about. The artist is this British dude that has very wild energy. Kind of reminds me of that dude from Idles, but smaller. Looks like he doesn’t shower.
So I brought him a jacket and he completely disassembled it. I start freaking out because I remember that I already have a deal with a different artist (I am actually working with IRL). At one point his mom is there and he kicks us out? So I’m just chilling in the backyard with his mom while she’s on a swing and I’m sitting at one of the many lined up picnic tables.
When he was done it was an incredibly beautiful and creative jacket, far beyond what I had asked. I realize that I was still getting my husband jacket made by the other artist, but this jacket was for me. I hadn’t even paid. I was worried about paying for another jacket. I was confused why he made something so intricate. Did this guy love me? Did I love him? I sat on him and kissed him. He tasted like cigarettes. I started leaving and he asked if I wanted to make babies and I said I already had some.
Jul 16, 2024
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First thing she told me about him was that he had weird style. A 2015 hypebeast who got a gig vibe curating for organic grocery stores. That’s what she told me about him. She showed me a picture of him where he had his lips all pursed up like he was trying to show off his jawline— but in a knowing, self-effacing “don’t I look so silly making this handsome pouty face” way. Shortly after she asked me to look at this picture & make fun of him & after I had complied, she told me something interesting.
“He’s got this car. It’s a complete, from scratch model of the car from that lindsay Lohan movie herbie, fully loaded.”
I sat up, cross legged
”not just the chassis, not just the engine, the whole thing. He found concept art & behind the scenes schematics of herbie. He tracked down each part & made absolute sure to get them as authentically as possible. He didn’t include anything unfaithful to the original vision. He mentioned something about being unable to be unfaithful to it. That working on ’Him’, he kept calling the car ‘Him’, that this was his way of discovering what faith meant.”
This confused me, so i asked my friend to keep explaining.
“It’s like— here’s the way he put it. It’s like this, you can get a ready made replica of just about any famous car you could dream of jsut by knowing the right people. But a replica is not “Him”. He told me that he had no interest in driving something sold to him with ‘authenticity’, it’s ‘faithfulness’ being a POINT OF SALE.”
I was intrigued, so I asked her point blank what she thought he got out of the whole thing. She gazed up at the ceiling for a while, I think looking at the same daddylonglegs that I was looking at earlier. The one with the big orb of eggs attached to its thorax. an orb that would burst & bring forth 10 million babydaddylonglegs into my home. After a few moments of spidergazing, she told me this, this is what she told me. Like the words were being sucked from her mouth.
”I don’t know. It might be some weird type of prayer, like he’s building himself an idol or a god or a friend or a father or a lover. He told me that when he’s inside ‘Him’, he feels in control. He feels safe. Powerful. His hands are on the wheel & Herbie responds perfectly to everything he does. There’s no resistance, like Herbie is an extension of his own flesh almost. He insists that he can hear Herbie whisper words of encouragement to him. There was something vaguely sexual about it all. It’s weird Jake, but I couldn’t tell if he was gonna laugh or cry or kiss me. And I wanted him. Badly. It was the most honest a man had ever been with me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
I asked her if she planned on seeing him again.
“I don’t know. Maybe. You know I don’t have a car. Thing is that he lives far away & the drive is kind of a bitch.”
Dec 16, 2024
Backstory: Im crushing so hard on a tattoo artist near my job and am delusionally convinced she’s my soulmate. We coincidentally have matching tattoos of the cover art for faces by mac miller high on the thigh. (for full story go look at my asks)
Update: aight… went to the tattoo shop’s 8th anniversary event just to kinda be present and participate in the art community in Puerto Rico bc I’m having trouble finding ppl I relate too and I think I can make friends w them. Didn’t rly get to chat with her much, she was being a little distant and I wasn’t going to corner her or anything. I ended up getting some flash that was super cool. after my tat was finished late that night I went for a walk to shake off the nerves of the pain n shit. Ended up getting a strange feeling to buy a bunch of ice creams for everyone in the tattoo shop party so I walked far as hell and bought like 20-30 ice creams from a 24hr bodega and came back to pass them out to everyone for free. Boom. wonderful success and made so many ppl smile. Now the shop owner n community know me and recognize my chill.
Additionally: I could not get this girl out of my head. Like I never rly date and I fr don’t like talking to girls. Im rly hyper-isolated but it’s my own doing. But she Was driving me crazy. I ended up buying her the Book of Mac memoir and planned to give it to her as a gift/tip at our booked tattoo session. I had a feeling that she’d rly like it. But that wasn’t enough. I became manic and over the course of three sessions I made her a mac miller mix. Ive attached it for u all to listen. This might’ve been overkill and I was second guessing it the whole time but I did it anyway because I’m not a pussy.
Finally: get to the tat session and was greeted with a kiss on the cheek (polite and customary for Puerto Ricans but she was rly friendly about it and she initiated). When she finished setting up our station I sit down and pull out the book. Inside the book I had written to: (her name) from: (me) and a short quote from BMO (adventure time) because it kinda just felt right. tell her hey I got this for you, I think I have a crush on you idk, but yeah this is for you. Bruh… she melted. She was like soooooooooooo happy. She had a mask on cuz she was sick but she said underneath she was blushing super hard.
we start the tattoo and I ask if I can just talk to her while she does it. I’m rly shy and not the best at convo but throughout the entire tattoo I just picked her brain to try and get to know her. Bruh… we r so alike. Like mind blowingly alike. Talked about music and movies and clothes. But she was kinda dry and quick w her chatting. It took a while for her to warm up a bit and relax. Plus I’m funny so she was giggling after every other thing I said. Teased her a bit. Flirted a bit. But nothing too heavy. By the end of the tattoo session we were on aux together going back and forth w songs talking about why we like them n stuff. Like at this point I can tell we’re friends. Finally the tat is finished and it’s great. She’s an apprentice and not super experienced but it was exactly what I wanted. As we were saying our goodbyes she thanks me again for the book. I told her I had one more thing to give her but she had to give me her number first… she freaks out a little bit. I say no pressure obviously, but she’s like “yes pressure“ I’m like what?? She gives me her number and gives me a super quick and tight hug. Idk how to describe it but it was like a shy, fast “I need to hug you before anyone sees” hug. as I’m walking out the shop I text her the link to the mix n head home.
I get home, she texts saying thanks for the mix that it’s rly cool and thanks again for the book. and then…. She tells me she’s dating someone 🥴 and didn’t know how to tell me in person and froze when I asked for her number n if its alright if we’re just friends. I ate that punch, said hey no prob we can be friends, which is totally fine like I fr don’t mind, but the thing is I KNOW MY WHOLE SCHEME WORKED. Like the way she was reacting to me and how comfortable she got and how cool our convo was like I know she recognized how cool I was. And she told me I was rly cool like she texted saying she thinks im cool. So like… fuck. Idk. and She didn’t even say she has a boyfriend, she just said she’s dating someone so it doesn’t even sound serious. Idk what to do. She didn’t respond to my last text. so this is where we stand. I think I fucked her world up tho. No way she’s not thinking about me now.
What do yall think?
Jul 19, 2024
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I was very unapproachable and emitted a foul hostile energy that repelled any boys with good sense in high school who may have otherwise been attracted to me. But there was one boy, S., who really liked me (my mother told me recently: ‘I could tell that boy had no self-respect for dating you‘ LOL and she’s so right).
I loathed him and found him to be so profoundly irritating and utterly lacking in refinement or taste but he tried his best to win me over by constantly assaulting me with his boisterous and animated presence. Unfortunately, I was on the court for my cousin’s quinceanera and needed a date, so I finally bit, having no other options and needing to RSVP several months in advance of the date of the event with the name of my ‘escort.’
We started dating before then because why not. My friends threw a surprise birthday party for me at my neighborhood park and after singing happy birthday to me, they all started chanting at me in unison to kiss S., so we went behind a tree for privacy and complied. All I really remember is that his mouth tasted like a burger exactly like the Wet Hot American Summer quote.
This lanky string bean of a young man legitimately only ate pizza and hamburgers and only drank Dr. Pepper (I recently heard that he had come down with gout and I can see why). He had a giant collection of dirty Converse shoes, which he kept in a pile and wore to the exclusion of all other footwear, and he called them Chucks.
He would write me love letters and I would correct the grammar and syntax in red pen and return them to him. He would talk about the children we were going to have someday and tell me that the song “Maybe I'm Amazed” by Paul McCartney made him think of me; I would tell him that I don’t think teenagers can experience real love. I convinced him to grow a beard to hide his off-putting pointy chin that made him look exactly like the tragedy and comedy masks ‘because it just looks so much better’ which he has not shaved since. 🎭
He ended up having an emotional affair with a pizza delivery girl from Oregon who was probably a catfish on the forums for the television show Psych (which he was obsessed with), which hurt my ego more than anything. After the breakup I burned all of the drawings and handmade gifts he had given me in a barbecue grill. I hope he’s found a sweet simpleton who treats him well and gives him what he needs. That’s the story of my evil past and the boy who gave me my first kiss.
Oct 16, 2024
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This has become the norm and every day I grow more disturbed. I understand if somebody is behaving in a harmful way, that is good to document and put out there. But as a whole, it seems, we have become so comfortable with recording people just living their lives. I saw a video of a guy working and the caption of the video was that he was so hot, we needed to find him!!! Why are you providing the Internet with his face and location instead of just going up to talk to him? I saw another of two people on the subway, seemingly a couple, having a very emotional moment. How would you feel if you open up an app and saw a video like that of yourself? I don’t like this level of sibling society surveillance. Why are you videoing an elderly person with sad music dubbed over it to gain likes? It is WEIRD. Don’t even get me started on videos of children. It is WEIRD to use a stranger without their consent to get some kind of fake validation. Get a life.
I don’t mean to come on here and share something so negative, I just don’t have anywhere else to put it and it’s gnawing at me.
Oct 7, 2024
Feb 23, 2025
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It’s to keep us humble otherwise we’d be TOO hot/sexy/cool
Jul 3, 2024