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I have the worst fear of staying in one place for too long (both literally & metaphorically) but I think whatās even more dangerous than that is the desire to stay in that rut forever even though itās not serving you !! That happens to me because Iām so scared of failing or to be seen trying for something but not reaching it in the end.
I am feeling so inspired after coming home from a concert & I am allowing myself to bask in that sense of renewal !! Like wow itās okay that I want to write again despite not doing so for months now! Itās okay that Iām getting into photography again after not honouring my commitment to practise it in the past few months! I am learning more and more from personal experience + observation that some doors only open at the right time and there are times when the right thing to do is to actively pursue something, while there are times when we have to sit still + wait and see
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šŖ¬
whatever is holding you and feeding you creatively!
I think we have such a different idea now of what careers can look like and weāre no longer held to the ābe at one job for 40 yearsā mentality. Which is equally freeing and terrifying.
But i think you keep feeding that part of yourself until it feels like you shouldnāt move on or feel thereās more to explore in one area. I realize this isnāt an exact rec but im feeling this too and am finding that the reframe is helpful for the freefalling feeling.
Mar 11, 2024
āļø
when things are just going so well that you get scared as hell waiting for it all to fall apart. Itās a normal feeling, but a dirty, nasty thief of joy. Donāt let it convince you to borrow grief from the future and ruin the now.
also, I moved a hell of a lot growing up too and I also thought I wanted to root myself in one place forever and ever when I āgrew upā ā it was just an outsized response to the reality of my moment. As an adult, I get itchy when I stay in one place too long and Iām realizing that a substantial part of who I am will always have 1 eye on the horizon. Iām figuring out how to make peace with that now. Iām also leaning into the fact that I am much more comfortable with change than most of my peers! it can be a super power if you let it :)
Dec 29, 2024
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kudos for sharing!! i really feel this too. i think personally, iāve struggled a lot to try over a weird disregard for consistency, as if having a structure or a routine would somehow make my activities/work/hobbies less enjoyable.
consistency in my head has always implied stagnation. but really, thatās also the outcome of this burnout that happens when life is chaotic and not consistently focused. to avoid that, iāve tried to build community around my goals !! i think talking with other people about what i do helps me to keep it feeling organic, even as i try to stay consistent and end up suffering through the same steps over and over again. it helps me not to run away from making the mistakes you need to progress at anything. i guess via making it tangible ?
Feb 18, 2025
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i know it sounds so clichĆ© but i work for a climate organisation & i just came home from a work event so iām feeling very inspired/energised/refreshedā¦please find your community because it is tiring, draining, & almost impossible to drive social change alone. you donāt have to do it alone.
A community helps your cause. We protest, meet, rally, & cry in numbers for this reason. š
Jun 29, 2024
šŖ©
i am starting to realise how detrimental & unfair it is to not only myself but also the people around me because i then hold them to unreachable standards.
we are learning!! not there yet but slowly and surely
Jul 2, 2024
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i really also think about how much boys are taught ways to perform masculinity & how it is legitimised through tangible things like building a career etc but with women i find that from a young age our identity, behaviours, & thoughts are always spoken about in relation to other people/things ā gender roles within the family, how weāre perceived by men, our friendships with other women, our relationships with material things etc etc ā and this shows up in the labels that women are often given too! so and so is someoneās daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother etc etc. i envy the freedom of boyhood so much, the freedom to just be (this is not to discount the toxicity of traditional masculinity, i just think that boys are still afforded more āplayā and therefore have more opportunities to develop their sense of self).
maybe i am also biased because of how iāve grown up & whatnot but i never really understood what it meant to quote unquote be a woman or perform femininity. i only saw this modelled within my nurturing friendships with women as iāve gotten older but when i was younger, in church it was always āok well donāt do this or that because x y z will happen to men if you doā or within my extended family it was often āare you seeing anyone? when are you having kidsā. damn what happened to asking about how iām doing or what my dreams are!!!
long rant sorry !! but thatās my long winded way of saying āi feel youā haha
Jun 28, 2024