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"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again." - Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran The best decision Iā€™ve made this year was to start a video journal of my senior year and capture every momentā€”no matter how insignificantā€”to keep the year frozen in time. No matter how much time goes by; no matter how many characters I change to become, Iā€™ll always have these videos to remind me of my essenceā€”where I come from, and what made me. It doesnā€™t matter that the cusp of them are 0.5x videos of my friendsā€™ foreheads, clips of me crying in public restrooms, and logs of us stealing grocery store carts to race them down the streetā€”these moments are what I stay alive for.
Jul 22, 2024

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If you like going to the movies and have a selection of AMCs near you itā€™s an unbelievably good deal. Even at my most destitute I have refused to cancel this membership because itā€™s basically a free activity anytime and a fun little date with myself. 3 movies a week for $25/month??? I will never shut up about this.
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If you go to the movies regularly this deal cannot be ignored. Not only can you see all the good movies, you can see the bad ones with no regrets
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ā€œhow can a person know everything at eighteen, but nothing at twenty-twoā€ life truly humbles you. as you start growing older, you stop only chasing the big things, and start valuing the little things too. being able to weave stories of experiences and begin applying themā€”integrating the lessons and learning curves. in the past few hours of being eighteen, ive learnt how limited our time on earth truly is. i was advised (perhaps even lectured) that i shouldnā€™t try to defy natureā€™s course with futile attempts to ā€œage gracefullyā€, but to rather age with mischief, audacity and a good story to tell. beyond grateful for the love that surrounds me, and the love that i am bound to give out.
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An ideal world is one that knows no pain. That, sadly, is not the one we live in. Pain is a part of the human experienceā€”but failure to move on from it makes you miserable. If you dwell too much on what has happened, you will never be fulfilled enough to see all the good you have/ that is to come. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of a situation. ā€˜And in fact, itā€™s time to forsake someone elseā€™s idea of what gives you a spark or no spark. Block the ā€œotherā€ from the picture. No more audience. Just you.ā€™ Whether you choose to take that responsibility (of acceptance), or give it up to the disappointments of life, you return to yourself. The choice is whether to wallow in the misery of that pain, or take it as it comes and look at what it has to offer you.
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ā€œwoman says ā€˜i love this songā€™ after every song on her own playlistā€ (core) i always notice music; music is what feelings sound like. because it has to, the world will changeā€”and people will too. naturally, one of my favorite parts of the year is between late november and early december: spotify wrapped season. keeping track of peopleā€™s listening habits (to figure out whose allowed on aux) has always been a nosy pleasure of mine. i never want to lose connections to change; music allows me to sever those relationsā€”ā€œyou listen to catherine wheel?ā€ā€¦ ā€œi didnā€™t know you were into fiona apple too!ā€ā€”itā€™s a great way to form bonds. music connects people. i for one relish in this understanding. i, unfortunately, am an impatient person and cannot wait until the end of the year. i take this ngenart quiz monthly to record my own listening analytics as i continue to delve deeper into this interest, and share them casually in hopes that others will join in.
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