Thereâs an indescribable beauty to this song, âAlisonâ, by Slowdive. Oh, how I wish I could put into words how this song makes me feel. When I first stumbled upon it, and the whole Souvlaki album it belongs to, I was quite lonely. I had friends, but most of my friends had someone in their lives. Someone who was more important to them than me. I was nobodyâs priority. Thatâs how it felt, at least. I was longing to be loved. To be cared for. And that is exactly what Neil Halsteadâs vocals on this song bring forth, a feeling of longing, of desperation. He longs for someone so desperately, that heâll do anything as long as he gets to be with her. He will do whatever it takes so as not to be alone anymore.Â
âAlison, Iâll drink your wine /
Iâll wear your clothes when weâre both highâ
Sheâs like an addiction, and he is addicted to her and anything sheâll ask of him. At the time, I would have given anything to overcome the loneliness that overwhelmed my everyday life. A girl could give me the smallest amount of attention, and I would spiral into a rabbit hole of highly unlikely fantasies. Even if I knew they werenât at all right for me, I made up scenarios in my mind of what it would be like to be with them. For a moment, I would actually feel less lonely.
ââAlisonâ, I said, âWeâre sinkingâ /
Thereâs nothing here but thatâs okayâ
As a soaring guitar fades in and the chorus takes off, I daydream about what could, but probably never will be, and never should. Iâm not ready. I have to wait. She has to be somewhere. Softly, carefully, I can already hear her, through Rachel Goswellâs gorgeous echoing vocals, somewhere in space. I just have to wait.
âI guess sheâs out there somewhereâŚâ
She was.