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Once you reach a certain age it seems like everyone else either a) has a large, supportive, and well-rounded circle of friends with no room for anyone else or b) has no friends and it's obvious why once you meet them. I wish I had more advice for you but I think you just have to go out there and take risks. (PI.FYI can also be a great way to meet people but only if you live in one of maybe five cities, I'm sorry to say.)
Jul 27, 2024
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what ive learned about being a friend and having friends is that sometimes your favorite people and your favorite activities don’t go hand in hand. my closest friends are people ive known forever with 9-5s and families. i live with my parents and work at a pizza shop, i got more free time. i like to go to shows and bars and parties but a lot of my core friends can’t as often. so i ask around, hit up acquaintances and old friends, see if my other friends have anyone they can introduce me to who likes the same things. i think if you’re seeking out people who got the time or the interest, you can find them because they’re probably looking for the same thing.
im a few years younger than you, but i picked this trick up from watching my 55 year old dad call up random people all the time. if someone can’t go out with him, he FINDS someone.
best of luck on the journey of filling your social cup. i know it feels lonely out there but there’s people out there for everyone!
May 16, 2025
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
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I just posted about this and many people agreed with me.. I’m 5 years younger than you but I’m in a weird transition phase away from the people I’ve known most of my life. I have some solid friends that I am sticking around with though.. I really don’t know what to do to meet new people. I’ve gotten into magic the gathering as a hobby but it’s a hard way to make friends being kinda geared towards antisocial types. I’m going closer to the city in the fall and hope to meet more people with those social avenues available there. There isn’t much in suburban hell unless you’re willing to drive longer distances. I relate to you but unfortunately have little in the way of advice :/
3d ago
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One of the few apps with no ephemeral "story" feature or whatever so you don't need to check it every 24 hours. Cherish this.
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It's just like John Swartzwelder said:
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Kaufmanesque social satire meets Cronenbergian body horror that almost moves to the beat of jazz
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