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just went on a first date for the first time in a while and it was so fun n sweet to just get to know each other without the usual expectation of a kiss/hook up at the end. i really think this expectation is tied to our craving for instant gratification. like we (ideally) have this really awesome date with someone and itâs someone new and shiny and appealing so of course it makes sense to go for a kiss. and kissing is so fun! i love it! and in some situations, it feels right to kiss on the first date â listen to your heart! but i just think we should try to take our time more with these things and aim for the delayed gratification that is made to feel so out of reach under capitalism. capitalism tries to convince us that we donât have enough time and so, we think everything good has to happen so quick and in the heat of the moment, but there is so much time and good things take time and you deserve good things! also the more time you spend getting to know someone, the more life theyâll get to experience, and the more stories theyâll have to tell you â we tell ourselves stories in order to live and to love <3
ok philosophical tangent over, but i just have one more non-philosophical thing to say: what ever happened to âgoing steadyâ ? letâs bring that back to 21st century dating culture!
Sep 7, 2024
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The social contract of relationships and the overanalysis of the process to get there seems quasi-masochistic to me, and not in a cute way. We seek to alleviate our anxieties about being valued by another, by reducing ourselves to the object of anotherâs desires through our conceptions of dating. I think there is something to be said to finding love in moments with friends and strangers. Romance isnât about not getting ghosted, or playing a game, itâs about bearing your soul to anotherâs hands, and them doing the same. A real love letter can be contained within a moment, donât waste it by waiting for the next.
Jan 21, 2024
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i guess it's super cliche but i really felt better after i went on a date. i made it clear that i wanted to keep it casual and actually had a nice time. it's refreshing to feel someone interested in you, kind of brings things into perspective.
Apr 24, 2024
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i donât know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesnât apply to you. iâve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe iâm not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership
i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but iâve gone on dates with people who donât have many friends before and itâs turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general
also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i havenât connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs youâre feeling too. but i know itâs a different thing than being head over heels for someone⌠all depends on what weâre looking for i guess
all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process â¨
Mar 16, 2024
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the last word i wrote down in my list is maelstrom! i think i have like 100 words written down, some of them repeated without meaning to... i like words a lot and there are many i wish to remember and immortalize. whatâs a word you never want to forget?
Sep 29, 2024
Sep 23, 2024
i saw this cloud shaped like a bunny like a month ago and i think about her all the time
Sep 5, 2024