Iām not gonna get into my whole night routine but know that I am a mother of two young children and while that makes it harder to do some kind of wind down nightly ritual, it is not impossible. I will note that because of our work schedules, we are working during normal dinner time, so I make dinner in the afternoon and usually eat that big meal early and have more of a lunch kind of situation later.
My projection is that everybody hates when I recommend meditation, but I recommend it because it actually works. You donāt have to do it for a long time, but doing a guided meditation for even five minutes can help Relax your mind and body. Yoga can be very meditative while also moving your body, so kind of a two birds one stone situation with that.
Iām a big water person so a shower and bath will immediately relax me. Journaling at night has at time been very useful, or laying down and listening to an album. I actually just recently started using a sound machine that plays a thunderstorm because I felt it helped my 5 month old and we all like it.
What is your day like that you are going to the point of exhaustion and then passing out? Are you not scheduling time outside of work to have to yourself? Are you psychologically emotionally avoiding feeling things so you donāt actually want to relax? A nightly ritual doesnāt have to be longer complicated, just different from what youāre doing the whole rest of the day.
Building new habits and changing your routine is hard. Start small and donāt bite off more than you can chew. Start by changing one thing and once you have that down, add in or take away something else.
Sep 8, 2024
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Iāve had periods where Iāve really struggled with this too. Before I give my rec, I want to emphasize that I think we all experience cycles in our behavior where we āmake progressā (whatever that means for you!) and then we donāt - and thatās really okay. I would start by figuring out if your body is physically okay. Lethargy/fatigue is a biological response to a lot of different things and it may be the result of unexpected health stuff! So donāt discount a doctorās visit. But mental health/stress really contributes to this for me, and it is often the biggest thing that breaks my healthy routines. This is where the loop comes in: healthy routines combat stress, but stress breaks up healthy routines. So that first day you start the healthy routine cycle is really important! For me healthy routines start with good sleep hygiene. If youāve been rotting in bed a lot and your sleep cycle is screwed, re-establishing that may be difficult. I would recommend supplementing your body with physical movement - preferably something rigorous (for your level) but also gives you joy!! No boring gym time - do whatever gives you endorphins. Consistent activity is really key for your body to not fall into a doom loop. And lastly, do the things you need to do to combat your stress. Set yourself up so that you feel you are taking meaningful steps towards progress. Start with the small stuff and donāt discount them!!! Often the small tasks are the ones that break us because they seem innumerable (for me itās always been folding laundry). But just remember, every small thing you do is progress and that will build your momentum.
I believe in ya! You have the power to change this, slowly but surely.
May 13, 2024
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hi from another lifelong ADHD insomniac!! I still have nights where it's hard but here's what works for me:
āļø no caffeine in the afternoon/night! sucks but it will really help if you can stick to it
šµ pick a time to stop looking at screens! an hour before you need to sleep, start reading a book, journaling, skin care, etc...but no screens
š short meditation! if my brain won't turn off, I try to do deep-breathing and practice a meditation. calms my busy brain down but also helps me in other areas of my life. there are lots of short 3-5min ones on YT
š§ earplugs or rain noise! I'm really sensitive to sound at night...soft foam earplugs put me in the sleep zone
š medication! ask your doctor about sleep meds, esp if you take daily ADHD meds. I struggled for so long before I asked a dr for help and idk why! you can also try: magnesium gummies/CALM powder, zzzquil, melatonin
āļø daydream...in bed! take your mind somewhere nice: a bucket list place, a nostalgic memory, a fantasy world, a cozy room...and hopefully fall into a real dream
ADHD-specific Tips:
āļø Just try one new thing at a time and commit to trying it every night for a few days or a week and see what sticks!
āļø keep a list next to your bed of what works so you can remind yourself if you forget
āļø remember to always be gentle and kind to yourself!!
May 7, 2024
I really struggled with all the unstructured time post-grad and my body totally flipped like what do you MEAN I have nothing to do and if I do nothing, nothing will happen? This rec is annoying, but as a skilled layabout, it really helped me overcome the whole āwhat do I do all dayā thing and also the āwhy am I falling asleep at 3 AM and waking up at noon?ā thing to make a loose schedule and try to adhere. If youāre applying for jobs, school, or even just pondering what to do next, think about:Ā
At what time during the day do I feel most awake and alive? Then, block out like four hours around that window. I try to do 90 minutes of focused work at a time with like 60 minutes between for chilling.Ā So, if you can start with two little blocks of working on applications or doing some intentional, focused pondering, great. Gradually, you can increase the amount of work if you want.Ā
Then, plan the rest of your day around things you need and want to do - move your bod, eat, socialize. Things like talking a short walk in the morning to get some sunlight, going to the movies, and calling friends, lighten me up!Ā Ā Keep it simple babe!Ā
Post-grad, I laid on a couch for three months in stay at home girlfriend mode totally consumed by fear. I asked a lot of older people how they figured things out and they told me that nobody ever does. I like to do some meditations on intention and listening to yourself (linked). And I agree with capyboppy...try to stay present and pay attention to what you got going on right now! The weight of future is heavy becuase you probably want your life to be sick and meaningfulā¦.and thatās cool.
Jun 11, 2024
Top Recs from @mossyelfie
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This has become the norm and every day I grow more disturbed. I understand if somebody is behaving in a harmful way, that is good to document and put out there. But as a whole, it seems, we have become so comfortable with recording people just living their lives. I saw a video of a guy working and the caption of the video was that he was so hot, we needed to find him!!! Why are you providing the Internet with his face and location instead of just going up to talk to him? I saw another of two people on the subway, seemingly a couple, having a very emotional moment. How would you feel if you open up an app and saw a video like that of yourself? I donāt like this level of sibling society surveillance. Why are you videoing an elderly person with sad music dubbed over it to gain likes? It is WEIRD. Donāt even get me started on videos of children. It is WEIRD to use a stranger without their consent to get some kind of fake validation. Get a life.
I donāt mean to come on here and share something so negative, I just donāt have anywhere else to put it and itās gnawing at me.
Oct 7, 2024
Feb 23, 2025
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Iām curious what your brains are like
1d ago