ik it’s cliche to say but it’s the god’s honest truth. generally, people make friends because they share an activity. when you’re a kid, the activity is school, and for some adults the activity is work or parenting.
but if you aren’t interested in the friends available from those activities, you literally just have to go out and do things you already like with other people.
i like music, writing, and #gaming. to make friends of my own i just went to open mics, workshops, and local tournaments respectively. try to find equivalents for the events that you like and i guarantee it will not be long before homie candidates are lining up
Sep 9, 2024
Related Recs
🔊
idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
⭐
a coffee shop, running club, pottery class, karaoke night etc.
Whatever thing ur into. Go to places where you can do that thing regularly.
Eventally and usually pretty organically you will begin to make friends with people. People who you probably have alot in common with because you already have a shared interest. Yay!
I moved to a new state about a year ago knowing no one. I joined an improv class and now I have a whole network of people that I never expected to know. From that network you'll meet other people and so and so on.
Feb 3, 2025
🔗
ive been single for 5 years so when i moved, going out alone wasn’t really a new concept it was just the unfamiliar environment that was intimidating. so i just had to get over my fear of the literal unknown.
either way, concerts are the easiest place for me to make new connections cus i like to dance and i mean there’s already a solid topic of conversation to lead with (the artist you r there to see 🌚)
dive bars r easy too, i just have a drink at the bar, talk to whoever’s there, and go wherever the wind takes me.
i also just straight up asked my coworkers if anyone wanted to be friends and /or hangout. sometimes (in seattle at least) u just have to be straightforward
my old roommate liked going to queer nights and that’s how she met a few of her friends
my current roommate is into gaming so he goes to gaming meets & card game battles
and i have another friend who loves skating so she goes to skating events
i guess, meet new people thru ur hobbies 🧘🏽♀️
BUT ALSO
don’t be afraid to ask :)
May 16, 2024
Top Recs from @dotmatrices
🏄
spent the last two weeks working on an interactive guide, recommendations database, and digital library (link depot) to help get people off of social media. the first draft is done now, and it's at the link to this post.
it's still very much a work in progress (the library is especially thin atm) - which is why i wanted to share it here before unleashing it upon my IRL friends and the general public. i welcome any and all feedback, bug reports, and suggestions for things to add. i will be pushing updates to it out like a madman in the coming weeks, so be sure to check back every so often to see new additions to the database and library.
additionally, i am still on the hunt for newsletters from local venues / community organizations / magazines / newspapers, etc. the only cities i have remotely covered so far are nyc, orlando, denver, brisbane, and little bits of worcester and chicago. if you know anything in your area that fits the bill, send it my way!
Jan 27, 2025
🗡
it is your civic duty to mercilessly mock generative ai users as much as possible
Jan 18, 2025
🗡
it’s so bad that discourse about it being bad is kind of played out now but it bears repeating how fucking bad it is
Sep 17, 2024