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my sister just had a baby and i am considering the type of aunt?/guncle ? (the designation becomes tricky w gender lol) i may be. but ultimately the archetype of âcool auntââmysterious, distant-yet-warm, uninvolved in family dramas, arrives at family gatherings wearing strange, somehow stylish clothes, bearing copious gifts and floating on an air of urban lifeâresonates most soundly with me
this has also led me to reflect on how my momâs sister played such a key role in my  youth by revealing to me a foundational truth that this is not all that there is! âtwas a very hopeful message to me, a miserable child/teen unsuited to christian suburban life, forced to procure my wardrobe primarily from the womenâs section at the department store because that is what my mother deemed reasonable (and kohlâs cash)Â
some of the notable moments my aunt bestowed upon my adolescence include:
⢠taking me to see moonrise kingdom at the indie art deco theater in a nearby mountain townÂ
⢠driving me to philly for shows at tla even though she had no idea who the artists were and would stand in the back; also paying for all my meals and whims on our south street jaunts
⢠curating a collection of signed books from author visits at her local library, which sheâd always drop off nonchalantly as gifts (charles santore picture books, lemony snicket !)Â
⢠signing me up for 5ks and carting me along to her races
⢠explaining to me what a âlesbianâ is and taking me to meet said lesbians in a dimly lit new york restaurant where i tried alligator sausage and felt so urbaneÂ
⢠general trips to ny for broadway shows and museums Â
⢠introducing me to rummikub
⢠letting me roam free at community music festivals from late afternoon til dusk, where iâd encounter children from different counties, get in harmless trouble and infuse my life with the intrigue of those unknown to me but in those brief momentsÂ
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your aunty sounds like the most special person - i remember mine driving me home from ballet with the windows down, blasting arcade fire⌠i want to be an aunty when i grow up.
beautiful. congrats to your sister and to you as well! iâm on a similar boat- my MOM just had a baby and itâs the greatest gift in the world honestly. baby sister and i are 20 years apart. thinking a lot of the same things rn hahaha but im so excited to have her with me and to teach her everything i can about whatever she wants
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this one made me reflect deeply on the current status of my relationship with my mother and the things we donât discuss, the things she doesnât know about me and may never know and vice versa.
I recently had the most enlightening conversation with my aunt (my moms only and younger sister) and it was interesting to hear her perspective on my tumultuous relationship with my mother and the parallels between our relationship and her own relationship with their mother, as a firsthand witness. the differences are vast but there are quite a bit of similarities.
this book made me feel all kinds of things from deep sadness to highly hopeful. A good balance in stories. But def a reminder in reflecting on your own relationship with your own mother whether it was good, healthy, toxic, violent, or even nonexistent. Highly recommend.
Feb 22, 2025
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⢠I accidentally burn my sandwich almost every time I make it.  I now crave it burnt. Maybe itâs not an accident anymore.
⢠Iâve dancing my whole life.  I dance every day.  I sometimes dance very weird and wonder if that is going to affect my kids in a weird way down the line.
⢠Iâm an external processor and talk to myself a lot, something I also wonder will mess up my kids.Â
⢠I generally do what I want and ask for permission later.  Iâve been learning over the past decade with my husband thatâs not the best way to be in partnership.
⢠Jungian therapy saved my life.
⢠Reconnecting with my spiritually saved my life.  I donât know what it is, but thereâs something. Â
⢠Nature greatly soothes me and is my greatest teacher.
⢠I am grounded yet light. Â
⢠I remember the day I started self harming.  I remember the day I decided to stop.
⢠Itâs easier for me to do something for someone else than for myself, but Iâve gotten better with that.
⢠I am very loving.  I am very forgiving.  I am not naive.
⢠I have fun every day because I am a fun person.
⢠I love people.  There were years I hated people.  My husband has shown me how to make friendships everywhere I go. Â
⢠I stay anonymous on here because Iâm scared a parent I work with will join one day and see some of my no filter suggestions, i.e. âhard nips.â
⢠I have 5 siblings.  We werenât close growing up.  Weâre close now even though we live far apart.Â
⢠The running joke from my childhood is that they never knew where I was.
⢠I was very surprised at the desire to get married and have kids.  When we bought a house in the suburbs I had a rather large existential crisis that I became boring.  Myself and my life are anything but.
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⢠Iâm sober, but not because I was an addict.  I wish there was another term for being sober because you were playing out all your emotional issues with drugs and alcohol and it just isnât appealing now that youâve healed.
⢠I have a raspy voice, but it used to be raspier.  I have nodules on my vocal cords. When I was 8 I was given a silver whistle to blow instead of yell.  I didnât use it.  It got worse once I started smoking.  My voice is much sweeter now.
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We had friends over the other day and my friend said sheâs paying attention to how I mother because she thinks Iâm doing a great job and wants to do the same with her future kids. Everyone agreed đĽ˛.
Weâre the only one of our friends with kids (3 y/o and almost 3 month old) and to be recognized in a role where the labor often goes unnoticed felt so good. I genuinely delight in my children and love being a mother, but it is 24/7 work. I never dreamt of being a parent but with my own healing and growth I found myself wanting to be. I spent a lot of years working on my own self regulation and studying child development (Iâm a child therapist) and that has really been paying off in a way I wasnât expecting at the time.
When someone gives birth, their brain matter changes to aid in caring for their baby. Iâve been in the thick of that for 3 years now and while I can and do think of other things, my entire being is very much entrenched in âmother,â and it can be hard to navigate identity outside of it. so to be seen and honored for that felt really special.
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