I don’t actually want you to surf. Already there are too many surfers. If you do try surfing, you will not look cool—you will look like a kook. The worst look in the world. After years of embarrassment, maybe, maybe you will learn to ride a wave without looking like a kook. Still, the ocean will try to kill you constantly because, fundamentally, you remain a kook. But being so close to death where life on Earth started will cause you to reassess your place in the natural world. You will never dump your petroleum lube down a storm drain that leads to the ocean. You will never eat goosefish because it’s in the red on Seafoodwatch.org. You will learn to laugh at yourself, because in one way or another, we’re all kooks flailing to keep from drowning. On second thought, I actually do want you to start surfing. If you’re in Los Angeles hit me up, I have an extra board you can borrow.
