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It's far harder to do now that Upstate has entered its "perpetual overcast" season, but sunbathing is probably my favorite thing to do. I have a class that has me right in front of a window, and yesterday, the sun came out for approximately 20 seconds. When I felt her warmth grace the back of my neck, I nearly sobbed. If you live in a place where the sun is out often, please sunbathe in my honor, I beg. I envy you and hope you do not squander your chance to bathe in that warm, delicious sunlight. If you live in a place where that sweet, sweet sunlight is harder to feel, just know you're not alone. I hope you find comfort in knowing we are suffering together.
Oct 1, 2024

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there’s something about sitting under a naked, uncovered window that fulfills me. i think maybe it’s how the light streams through and hits my face and warms my hands my back my eyelashes. or maybe it’s how the room changes tint— white blankets and cream carpets doused in soft yellow. i don’t really know but it’s nice especially if you’ve been cold and alone for a little, finally finding company in the sun’s careful fingers.
Jan 31, 2024
Today I stepped outside just to run across the street to get a coffee and had no idea that it was a whopping 56 degrees out. As the sun hit my face and I stripped away my jacket, a literal tear sprang to my eye -- not only have I been desperate for warm weather and a cool breeze, but I also felt that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that first inkling of the end-of-the-semester buzz from undergrad. The feeling of premature fomo -- that if I go to class, I'll miss out on these moments in the sunshine with my friends, the last ones before we part for the summer. It made me miss blowing off my responsibilities and sitting in the Boston Common with iced coffees and a joint, shivering because it's still a bit too cold, but not caring because the Vitamin D was just so damn delicious and the time together was too precious. I love New York and I love being done with undergrad, but every so often I get a pang of longing for that time. Today I sat by myself in the park and soaked it up, for once comforted by the fact that I'm not going anywhere, and that it will only get warmer and sunnier from here.
Feb 25, 2025

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When I got into college, I had this thing where I would pick a class crush and a class enemy for every class I was enrolled in. It was fun and a way to ensure I was actually going to class and not skipping (to impress your crush you have to say insightful things and seem smart so you keep up with the course reading/to be a good enemy, you have to be well versed in the course reading to make a good counter argument to whatever your enemy is yapping about). It’s always been fun and now as a Ph.D. student finishing up coursework, I am proud to say that I declared what might likely be my last class crush/enemy ever. This is all to say that recently I have been letting the crush/enemy paradigm bleed out into other aspects of my life and that I’d recommend it to others. If you wanna meet new people or make new friends, find a crush and enemy everywhere you go. Charm the crush, get into an argument with the enemy. It helps pass the time and you might fall into a friends to lovers or enemies to lovers dynamic which is always a good time.
Sep 12, 2024
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I made the decision to "downgrade" to a flip phone and I genuinely think it is the best decision I've made in a long time. It's weirdly connected me to my inner-child. Which, in retrospect, I reckon I should have expected. The camera quality sucks in the best way, but I carry my Canon camera around too in case I need to capture something more important. I've been calling my friends more because T9 texting is a drag. Haha, I've been texting like "do u wanna c a movie l8er?" I talk to strangers more when I'm waiting in line, when I can't look something up. I've been writing questions in my journal because I can't look it up in the moment, I have to get onto the computer later in the day and satiate my ever-flighty mind. Don't get me wrong, it sucked at first, but the intrigue absolutely helped. It has just been a fun way to spend the summer I guess. Screen time is down, my boredom has breed creativity, and I feel far more present in the world. If you've been thinking about trading your smart phone in for a dumb phone, take this as a sign. I recommend it immensely.
Jul 15, 2024