going out with friends, seeing family, etc. might sound like too much for your body and mind during this time but i have always found it much too hard to Not think about people i've lost when i'm alone. dont let yourself fall into a trap of loneliness just because that's what you're feeling. surround yourself with others who love you (there are plenty!) whenever feasible. talk to them about it, or dont; whatever you think will help you. there have always been moments when i am with loved ones after a breakup when i can go even just 5 extra minutes without thinking about it than i would have sitting at home by myself, which is valuable even if you start thinking about it again immediately after. i dont suggest this in. a "just dont think about it" way, as that is impossible and silly, but i do think it helps to speed along the healing process. love is like a home remedy and u still have it all around u. hang in there!!!!
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So true !!! My last breakup my people really caught me. They are still there 😭💕
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for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - i’ve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being “over” the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak:
this isn’t true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right after—it‘s like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same page—so space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that you’re not together romantically.
music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understood—heartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol!
journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed!
hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. ❤️🩹
source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love
May 22, 2024
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I like to remember that time is on your side, it will get easier as time goes by just for nature of it. So focusing on going through the day-to-day the best you can while being kind to yourself and letting the days past is what helped me.
It’s not easy, you have to go through the grief to come up on the other side.
But stick with the things that make your present more bearable and you WILL come up on the other side.
For me it was doing things for myself: listening to music, visiting close friends, cooking for myself, going on walks on nature, spending time alone and bored and finding new things I liked and enjoying my own company was life changing.
The loneliness is rough but it can be a great teacher (at least I like to think something had to come out of all that pain).
I guess it really depends on the break up the narratives you are telling yourself right now, but if you can be mindful about them, observe them, and let go of trying to understand and control everything they get less cruel. Right now you just need to survive and receive some kindness, later on you can build the story around it (Without the fog of the pain around it).
And for the love of god cut contact with them, their family and friends, at least for a while. rebuild yourself outside their zone of influence. Show vulnerability if you can, it can bring great support and lending ears, BE KIND TO YOURSELF (although have in mind sometimes over indulgence is not kind).
You will get through it, time is on your side.
Apr 18, 2024
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It’s a blessing when big changes come all at once. The absence of the relationship won’t be a hole in the life you had because you’re going to have a new one! Let yourself get caught up in all the adjusting you’ll be doing—moving, new friends, job search, gigs. Process, live the pain, etc. but in moderation… It’s harder to move on and look forward to change when intense loneliness/inactivity feels like a sign that things would be so much better if you were just together again. Enjoy, build up a network of care. Lean on your friends and family A LOT. Prioritize seeing the people who love you. Get on a plane or a bus or whatever you have to do, it is essential to get quality time with the beloveds during this period of loss and transition. Speaking from experience lol xoxoxo good luck <3
Jun 18, 2024
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Feb 24, 2024
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they're just some guy. but they're also cute and nice and make u feel admired and don't judge u for all the things u judge urself for. u can show them all your favorite things and learn all of theirs and also u can kiss them
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