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I like to remember that time is on your side, it will get easier as time goes by just for nature of it. So focusing on going through the day-to-day the best you can while being kind to yourself and letting the days past is what helped me.
It’s not easy, you have to go through the grief to come up on the other side.
But stick with the things that make your present more bearable and you WILL come up on the other side.
For me it was doing things for myself: listening to music, visiting close friends, cooking for myself, going on walks on nature, spending time alone and bored and finding new things I liked and enjoying my own company was life changing.
The loneliness is rough but it can be a great teacher (at least I like to think something had to come out of all that pain).
I guess it really depends on the break up the narratives you are telling yourself right now, but if you can be mindful about them, observe them, and let go of trying to understand and control everything they get less cruel. Right now you just need to survive and receive some kindness, later on you can build the story around it (Without the fog of the pain around it).
And for the love of god cut contact with them, their family and friends, at least for a while. rebuild yourself outside their zone of influence. Show vulnerability if you can, it can bring great support and lending ears, BE KIND TO YOURSELF (although have in mind sometimes over indulgence is not kind).
You will get through it, time is on your side.
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As someone who is maybe 2ish connections removed from the situation Im assuming you may be referring to… I am so deeply sorry 💔 hope you know that there are many strangers out there who are rooting for you and think you deserve to be happy and treated well, despite being strangers …
As someone who has been through a lot of heartbreak, the advice already given in previous comments is really great . I think in my experience, having 1 or 2 friends that you know really love you and get you, that you can spend time with even if you are really sad and not contributing much, was helpful. If you feel the need to talk about your feelings try to keep it to those people, or a journal. Once you start to feel a little better going out with more people and being more social can really help remind you of what is valuable about YOU.. what YOU enjoy and bring to the world..
Above all it helped me to remind myself that life is going to go on. You will move on, no matter how long it might take. It might feel like the worst thing in the world but i promise you will get through it. It’s just a matter of time :) be kind to yourself while time passes. I cant emphasize enough how deeply I have felt so heartbroken I thought I couldnt go on. Multiple times. Yet here I am.. and you will be okay too ❤️
Mar 3, 2024
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i don't know what happened, but i'm sorry. i think you cope by grieving and mourning. that's what i did. i journaled and cried and howled and screamed and rolled on the floor. i did this for an entire year. and it still wasn't enough. so i reached out to them like 4 days ago lol and it gave me the closure i so desperately needed. please please please remember to be kind to yourself and take care of yourself and show up for yourself even when it's the hardest thing to do. spend time with loved ones. do the things that you love. rediscover your passions. focus on you. treat yourself like the absolute g you are. remember who you are outside of this. it's so easy to lose yourself in this process of grieving. i believe in you. you can get through this <3
Jan 9, 2025
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This is so hard and different for everyone, I’m 2ish years post big break up and sometimes I feel consumed with thoughts about it all, other times it’s out of my mind.
I suggest you fill your time!! I took up running, yoga, pottery, got a new job, got a cat, I try to travel, I date good amount even if I know I’m not ready for a BIG relationship I just want to keep meeting new people.
if You feel the need to talk about it but you can’t maybe try journaling or therapy? I write the worst poetry in the world whenever I can’t stop thinking of him and it gets me out of that cycle.
Love and life and heartbreak is hard and beautiful and shitty and fun!! if you’re still thinking about this person and relationship so long after, maybe you need to keep learning from it or maybe you need to cut yourself some slack!!
Mucho loveo
Oct 7, 2024
Top Recs from @joblob
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Hahahha maybe it is a cult! I loved what I read, I think I got through half of it, the exercises are fun and can give you great insights, but I guess the greatest tool it gives is the morning pages, still do it and it’s great for those who can’t meditate. But I heard there is a curse if don’t finish it and when I dropped some bad things happened so be warned I guess
Apr 24, 2024
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I don’t know the name exactly but it’s easy and really fun, all you need is cardboard glue and scissors. you can cut up silhouettes and decorate the theater (glued curtains are very cute), then just put a light behind it and play with, improvising or rehearsing and then showing to others, kid of 5 loved it (and so did I)
May 21, 2024
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I was the same! What worked for me was changing how I saw books in my life. If you see it as a chore then it’s bound to be dropped. So I changed the way i approach it, now for me it’s more of a me-time, quality escapism. so it doesn’t matter the format ( audio books, fanfics, graphic novel, ebooks, before I was more judgmental), and if doesnt hooks me from the beginning I dropped it with no guilt. once you’re honest about what you want in a book (like for me it’s young women writers who overthink the day to day and how to live life) and share with your friends they begin to give great recommendations catered to you it’s a enthusiasm vicious cicle!
I guess I would recommend thinking what was that hooked you before and being really honest with what floats your boat now…
Apr 24, 2024