Ask for advice. One benefit of asking for adviceā€”especially from people whose lives and choices you respectā€”is that you get to observe the situation or decision from totally different perspectives and different sets of values. You aren't asking them to make the decision for you, nor would you want that. It needs to be yours entirely. But more wise voices (within reasonable limits) may help you see with more clarity and rise above your biases. Consider asking for advice from people you respect but who you think may tell you what you don't want to hear. No need to be afraid of that. The choice is still yours. -- Also, I pay attention to my inner life: where are my emotions at as I imagine the different choices? Is there a particular lack of peace or anxiety with one or the other? That's good information.
Oct 22, 2024

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I contemplate these questions often, I feel like one conclusion I have come to is learning to trust myself first. Obviously sometimes that means you could be wrong, but when you listen to yourself - in your heart & in your gut - it has the answers more often than not. Sometimes that takes going through new experiences and learning new things about yourself. Allowing it to look like whatever it needs to look like. Some say utilizing stillness will help, but for others it may be chaos that helps to gather the insight and wisdom you seek.
Apr 6, 2024
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lots of good advice here so iā€™m just gonna add that for me itā€™s a lot of talking to people i trust - ideally older than me that i see as a mentor/guide or someone i look up to has always been helpful. also considering the actions of people i admire. and finally focusing on my ā€œnorth starā€ which is a metaphor i learned last year - what it is youā€™re centering / pursuing / valuing most and then assess the potential choices in relationship to it. also sitting in nature and journaling about the choices helps me think through it better.p
Oct 22, 2024
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I think continually asking why you want something can help with this. When you do, you may realize the ā€itā€ you want is rooted in other people: how theyā€™ll perceive you, if youā€™ll be accepted by them, etc. The older Iā€™ve gotten Iā€™ve been better at untangling some of my desires from the ego and I think it has lead to better self-satisfaction of where I am at and where I am going. itā€™s also allowed me to ā€let goā€ of some dreams. Thatā€™s sounds negative or sad but I donā€™t mean it so: sometimes you white-knuckle-grip an idea of yourself so hard that it destroys you! I think ā€letting goā€ doesnā€™t mean things wonā€™t happen, it means they donā€™t have to and that pressure alleviation can make all the difference. Thatā€™s not to say to never let the drive of the ego take overā€¦Iā€™m not sure we would create art/great things without it. I guess what Iā€™m saying is that knowing the root of our desires is a key to balance and self-assuredness.
Feb 18, 2025

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