Related Recs

🤸

Think about what your body can do

My body has changed a ton in the past year, and my skin changed also— something I learned to do was to focusing on what my body does, versus how it looks. If you work out every day, spend time before your workout to focus on what you are working out for; so instead of “I’m working out to burn fat”, it would sound like “I’m working out because I want to be able to defend myself in an emergency, and I need to be strong to do that,” or “I want to feel like I can run x distance without getting winded.” Those are things that you will definitely achieve if you exercise, and they aren’t tied to how your body looks, which will change. You can also start using yourself as a comparison— “I’m stronger than I was a year ago,” or “I look so toned compared to the way I’ll look at 70”. I like to think about myself much much older; older Nadiya would love my body, and something I can do to love her is to take good care of my body, and not beat myself up— if I can’t like my body at 26, I’ll have a harder time learning to like it at 60. Practically— try getting rid of social media for 2 weeks; it’s not forever, and you can do anything for 2 weeks. If you need the reminder, influencers get zits too— they just don’t post them. They will take a bunch of photos on a day they look really good, to post on the days that they also feel bloated, greasy, or acne prone. Also, try dialling back your skincare— a totally natural impulse when your skin breaks out is to cover it in actives and serums to fix it, but that can make it more sensitive. Identify your skin type, and get a good, simple cleanser for it; I use the Glossier cleanser concentrate for days I wear makeup or workout, and the milky jelly cleanser for everyday. CeraVe has good, gentle cleansers and moisturisers. Then, dial back your exfoliation to once a week— use a good salicylic or other chemical exfoliant, and use it sparingly. If you’re having an acne breakout, use clindamycin after your cleanser— it’s antibiotic and will prevent bacteria from spreading and causing more breakouts around a pimple. And moisturise soooo much— I use CeraVe or Beekman, but anything fragrance free, noncomedogenic, and derm approved is ideal. If you’re comfortable doing it, go makeup free for a week or two— it lets your skin breathe, and gives you time to wash your brushes/sponges really well.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 22, 2024

✨

Skincare

Might sound silly, but I make sure I look in the mirror when I’m doing my skincare at night. When I’m at my lowest I don’t look at myself or do my normal self care things, so something about that ritual just reminds me that I’m a living breathing thing worthy of love and care ❤️

@sydsez

Dec 27, 2024

🛀

minimal skincare/makeup

now i firmly believe beauty culture is a product of white supremacy, capitalism, and patriarchy meant to construct and then profit off of widespread insecurities-- an idea that i first read in jessica defino's wonderful work. it tells us lies like you're not good enough as is... here is a magic fix to cure all your ailments... those natural aspects of your appearance are unslightly flaws!!... but buy this concealer and nobody will have to see it :). what lies! over the past year i have grown tired of the endless aesthetic labor and self-criticism. and also the price tags of today's most popular beauty products. i'd like to have more time and energy for the other beautiful deep parts of life! now i am down to a very straightforward cleanser/moisturizer/sunscreen/aquaphor for skincare & blush/mascara/perhaps eyeliner and a lip for makeup. giving up concealer was probably the hardest for me insecurity-wise (see: dark circles and occasional acne) but it has truly been so good for my skin!! sunscreen is an absolute non-negotiable. i am very partial to blush because i like to match the shade to how i am feeling and what i am wearing on a given day. the ultimate results to reducing your beauty product consumption are: 1. your skin will probably not be that different than when you bombard it with a 20-step routine 2. your wallet will be so much happier and you will have more $ to spend on non-superficial things! 3. you will have so much more time and energy for creative and comforting pursuits 4. your routine will feel much less arduous and much easier to stick to! 5. with time you will begin to feel more comfortable in your very own, unchanged skin. it doesn't need to change to please other people-- your face and body are so radically unique and divine! <3 and, divesting from beauty culture does not mean no engagement at all. i too still enjoy a face mask or a trip to the salon as a splurge self-care ritual. i like putting on a cute little blush and a red lip!! i do still care about my appearance-- but less so. i am more comfortable with my unadulterated face. my self-worth is less dependent on how i look. all that matters to me is that my external state authentically reflects my inner state! for further reading on gender, class, and capitalism, def check out Problems of Women's Liberation by Evelyn Reed!! findable in gale archives if you have university access ^-^

@antifabricated

Nov 13, 2024

Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse

❤️

You are only mundane to yourself because you are so familiar— to everyone else you are new

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2024

🤍

transparency is not the same as intimacy

This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way you’ve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the space— they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and it’s easy to say “I let you look at my room, that was intimacy,” while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.

@nadiyaelyse

May 28, 2024

🔌

Let it die

I like to let my phone die— I often don’t charge it overnight, and try not to plug it in during the day. If you’re able to access work/school through only your laptop, let your phone die, or leave it on the plug in another room. I also delete most apps from my phone for periods of weeks, and minimally use social media— if this works for you, it can feel very liberating, and makes me feel much less constantly accessible (which I think is a good thing). Something that helps me is thinking about the flattening of correspondence; before social media, if you wanted to communicate to a friend, it was one-on-one— you might write a letter, or call, or email, but what you were doing was conversational and relational. When we use social media, we flatten a lot of individual relationships into one relationship between us and our “audience.” Instead of sharing a thought or comment intended for one person, and designed for them to reply and continue the correspondence, we put out press releases on our own lives: “this is what I had for breakfast,” “this is a meme about my mental health,” and we become part of a passive audience in our friend’s lives. We end up feeling like we’ve just seen our friends, because we’re “viewing” their lives, but actually apps leave us feeling very isolated and anti-social. Try deleting your most used social media apps, and also schedule a walk/movie night/coffee with a friend. Outside of radical deletion, pick an audio book to listen to, and pair it with a hands on/tactile activity: you could load the dishwasher, or draw, or try embroidery.

@nadiyaelyse

Jul 29, 2024