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This is probably going to be part of a larger suite of small actions that I try to do intentionally:Ā to reclaim equilibrium.
I've been thinking about the U.S.A. presidential election and considering the question "Now what for me?"
(There are some thoughtful posts and replies on this theme out there, like this one from royallmonarch and this ask from llq and many others that are worthy of your attention.)
(And, realistically, while some readers of this post are grieving and terrified, others may be relieved and hopeful, while many are simply disconnected or apathetic. This rec is politically agnostic.)
But to the question of "What now for me?" orĀ "How then shall we live?" I find myself drawn toward small acts that both serve others in my immediate spheres of influence and put a gentle exclamation mark on the person that I want to be.
Regardless of if you are mourning or dancing today, you still have great power in the world around you.
My challenge to me, at least for a little while, is to stop watching the horrors on the horizon and see the opportunities in my path. A good word to someone feeling discouraged. A meal purchased for the hungry. An unexpected act of service. Apologizing when I don't have to or forgiving when I'm justified in not. Letting someone take my spot in line. A quiet revolution of uncelebrated kindness. Listening to truly understand.
Nov 6, 2024
Related Recs
Itās short enough, so let me try dropping the text here. Follow the link for an accompanying demo, the 59th unreleased song Iāve shared this year on my Substack newsletter, āorganizing an accidentā.
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Wanting to be something youāre not is a form of suffering.
If we accept this as true, then life itself, as the Buddhists say, is suffering. This line of thinking has always resonated with me. It also immediately strikes up the beatnik whoās squatting in my soul, saying things like: āHey baby, if this is wrong, than I donāt wanna feel right.ā
Itās through our suffering, our yearning, our active participation in it allāthat we can pass from that which we āwere notā to that which we āareā now. Sometimes, this process is experimentally prodded and analyzed, with each shifting atom felt and celebrated. Other times, probably more often than not, we find ourselves abruptly at our unannounced point of arrival where we either stick out our thumbs and hail a ride back or get on with it, find some comfortable ground, and pitch a tent.
Where do we go from here?
The human condition is anything but permanent. Any semblance of permanence in our lives should be treated with utmost suspicion. From one second to the next within the microcosm, despite any recognizable turbulence, you and I and the world in which we inhabit are constantly transforming anew.
Resistance is futile.
Thus, we embrace change. Personally, I love change. I love big change, and I love it incrementally too. Whether it's discovering an entirely new country, writing a piece of music, choosing an unexplored route on a daily commute, or, yes, even the few gray hairs that have appeared on my head this year. It is in our nature, but due to a variety of obstacles and circumstances, some will always opt for or falter to a reality closer to a reenactment of The Sims, continuously walking into walls.
It is also in our nature to build bridges we'll later bomb, create moral and aesthetic standards we'll never exemplify, and partake in all manner of acts of self-sabotage. This could lead one to move cautiously through the world or worse, adopt a nihilistic posture towards it. The only greater tragedy than a person beaming with potential but paralyzed by fear is one motivated by cynicism.
Feb 22, 2024
During every season of change, I get so caught up in the muck, fuck-up and duck of it. My thoughts start reflecting these rush-hour based beliefs (I shouldāve gotten more done, Iām not doing enough).
after an honest therapy session yesterday, I realized that the root of a lot of my recent heartaches are from the way I speak about myself, think about myself. Instead of considering how hard I work, how much I try, Iāve been pouring pebbles into my soup and wondering why it was so hard to eat. In other words: Iām real mean to myself.
Iāve attached what this open book page can be, and I just come write a little note on it whenever I return from my journey from the outside world. It feels nice to be nice, truly.
I have no timeline to finish this, no minimum level of detail I need to explain my actions. Itās going to be very sweet to reflect with every version of myself who paused, took off her coat, picked a coloured pen, and appreciated what she is, who sheās becoming.
Feb 7, 2025
Itās been so long since Iāve woken up and felt inspired to make the day my bitch. I miss being silly, I miss feeling gratitude. I want to notice life again; feel the pulse of the earth beating alongside mine.
I spend my time dulling myself on Instagram, or dreaming about my future in the mountains or ocean or Californiaāsomewhere magical where Iām happy.
Be where your feet are. Thatās the mantra that was grinded into me a few summers ago. Be present and youāll be happy. Somewhat, Iāve been trying this. meditation once a week or occasional yoga. But Iām not doing enough to make a serious impact.
May this post be my marker. The year is pretty much still fresh, spring is coming (hopefully), and I pledge to be more presen. I shall wake up ready to happy light and go to bed with a belly full of tea. Let the joy return!!!!!!
Feb 28, 2025
Top Recs from @mattshawsome
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this is worthy of celebration:Ā the lack of videoāautoplay video, noisy inane video, panicky video, algorithmic, dumb video, rabbit hole video, any videoāon pi.fyi is a good thing
Oct 5, 2024
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this is going to hurt āĀ A LOT āĀ but it's getting to the point where there's no other option
Mar 11, 2025