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I was tragically born with a terminal case of cantkeepmyroomcleanitis. It’s very common disease among smart, charming, funny, fabulous women. No matter how much my mom pleaded with me to clean my room with a week’s advance notice before guests came over I still found myself, day of the party, frantically shoving all of my belongs under the bed.
It’s been a real source of shame for me throughout childhood and into adulthood. I wouldn’t let people into my room and it was worsened by depressive spells. There was a tiktok trend where girls were sharing their “messy” bedrooms and it’s the most coquettish unmade bed one dress on the floor ass bedroom and they’re like “girl mess<3” … I’m like… my room looks like I’m constantly pissing off a vengeful god and everyday I come home to total ruin… we are NOT the same!!!!
A couple years ago my brother gave me some mushrooms and I was a little worried that having a totally disgusting room might send me down a spiral but two hours later I’m laying in bed laughing laughing laughing saying “oh my god I live in a swamp a beautiful beautiful swamp”. Then I went outside, sat in the grass, and listened to Panda Bear’s Person Pitch 7 times in a row. After that I felt less embarrassment about being so messy because it became so funny to me. Maybe this is actually a rec for mushrooms.
Anyways… I started letting people into my room even when it was in shambles. It didn’t cure me of my slobbery but once I stopped trying to hide my mess under my bed (literally and figuratively) it became easier to manage. In the past I would watch vid after vid of How to Be Organized trying to rectify what felt like a moral failure and if I could just find the right system or spend another $40 at the Container Store I would fix myself. Right now I’m focused on fine tuning. I make my bed everyday even if there’s more clothes on the ground than visible floorboard. I set a timer for 10 minutes and clean. Sometimes I’ll keep cleaning after the time is up and other times that’s all I’m capable of that day. Idk I’m just generally being more patient with myself.
tl;dr: it’s okay to be messy :P (but also absolutely would love recs from former slobs lol)
Nov 10, 2024
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As a formerly extremely messy person who now is a neat freak - I feel like a lot of not-cleaning is bc it feels too overwhelming. Set a timer for 20 minutes and do what you can. You’ll be surprised how much you can get done in 20 minutes. Take a 10 min break and repeat if needed. I do a “closing shift” every night where I tidy up so that when I wake up I feel relaxed and not stressed by the mess. I think it’s easy to think of cleaning as a type of punishment or approach it from a place of shame, but trying to reframe it as “I deserve a nice & clean space, my space being tidy feels good” has been really helpful to me. Thinking about when you’re the messiest can help too - for me, when I get ready to go out it quickly approaches disaster, so I’ve been intentionally getting ready half an hour earlier so I have time to put my eight rejected discarded outfits back instead of throwing them on the floor.
Also having a regular hang out with friends at my place encourages me to stay on top of cleaning. Having it nice enough for people to drop in at any moment is heavenly!!! But it shouldn’t just be nice for guests, it should be nice for you too! Again, you deserve it!
May 24, 2024
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i’m moving out soon and i’ve been in a giant empty house all summer and it has successfully driven me insane multiple times, and i’m still in the process of throwing things out day by day so every day the space i’ve known for three years is only getting emptier
so i started leaving clean laundry in a little pile, unread new yorkers in a different pile, a stuffed animal to be put in vacuum bag but rn just sits on top of an opened and packed suitcase full of stuff, a bag of things to be thrown out right besides my bed, and i‘m proud to say that my room has never looked messier
this is the one time that i’m sure somehow the mess is helping my mental health instead of making it worse
Oct 21, 2024
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I also struggle with keeping things clean. A few things I practice -
one thing that helped me was doing a teeny bit every day before it becomes a big chore. Like taking a water cup to the sink the next morning or putting dirty clothes in the hamper directly after shower
Cultivating space that you take pride in helps a lot. I am urged to keep my space clean when I’ve really built a space that reflects my personality and I can feel safe in.
Never let things run out, running out of toothpaste, body wash, shampoo can ruin one’s day.
If you need help w folding your clothes you’re on your own. I’d rather fistfight a gorilla than fold
Mar 12, 2024
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Feb 28, 2025
Currently have three full pages in my notebook! I guess some might call this a gratitude journal LOL but it’s different when I do it.
My brother was telling me about this phenomenon called “target fixation”. It’s a panic reflex that happens when motorcyclists become fixated on a singular object, obstacle, hazard (e.g. a sharp curve on a winding road) and they will unconsciously steer in the direction of the thing they’re trying to avoid because their hands follow their gaze which leads to accidents.
You will follow your gaze so be aware of where you’re looking. Train yourself to seek out pleasure and appreciation! Understanding where + what you derive pleasure from increases your capacity to enjoy things which in turn makes you a more interesting person (imo). I think it’s just as important self-knowledge as understanding your triggers/trauma. It is a daily willingness to be transformed by small things.
Sorry for lecturing but I want good things for all of you.
Xoxo,
meg
Mar 29, 2024
Forgive because this where I get a little ~woo woo~ but I think you should only wear necklaces that are imbued with a potent magical vibe… amulets only near the heart and throat
you can do whatever you want with earrings/rings but heed my warning about necklaces
Apr 20, 2024