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i need this as an affirmation for myself. because i am always scared of people’s reactions. even if they’re nice and i know they’re nice.. i’m working on it
Nov 11, 2024

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okay i got some really amazing advice from fellow piffers a few weeks back when i was drowning with texts AND felt like a dick for telling my friends and family that getting their messages made me want to kms lol. but being honest about how i felt is super helpful so i don’t become a ball of rage. usually in a more gentle way, but being honest that texting isn’t a great way to connect with me is v important to foregrounding my relationships nowadays. do not disturb really helped me take away from feeling constantly available to people. i see their texts when i get the time to, not when they *need* or *want* me to. removing the feeling of being obligated to someone’s messages has made me feel less awful about texts and calls. esp bc i am busy so often that their messages used to interrupt my day, my flow, my viiibbbee. still trying to figure out why relationships feel like obligations to me rn… i feel like that is the core issue of my rage/anxiety feelings from texts and calls.
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I’ve always preferred to be the one brave enough to send the message or say the thing than to be the one who's scared to respond. Avoidance makes space for regret, and if I face the fear, then it's easier to leave behind those feelings, regardless of whether or not they produce the response I want. I like having the comfort of leaving something where it is, knowing that I've said everything I have to say. It feels much better than struggling over whether or not I should have said something.
Mar 22, 2024

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