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I’ve always preferred to be the one brave enough to send the message or say the thing than to be the one who's scared to respond. Avoidance makes space for regret, and if I face the fear, then it's easier to leave behind those feelings, regardless of whether or not they produce the response I want. I like having the comfort of leaving something where it is, knowing that I've said everything I have to say. It feels much better than struggling over whether or not I should have said something.
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i need this as an affirmation for myself. because i am always scared of people’s reactions. even if they’re nice and i know they’re nice.. i’m working on it
Nov 11, 2024
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this may not be in any way applicable to your situations:
what if you were to reply letting them know you got the message, you want to connect, but texting just isn't working for you — and instead could they Facetime or do a phone call or something realtime?
When I send you a text message or a whatsapp or signal or one of the many others then I am essentially giving you homework/an assignment. I put something in your inbox—on your to do list. Now you have to deal with this thing. My message, or insane flurry of messages, is going to sit there taunting and shaming you.
I've been part of so many group messaging threads and they can just become so way too much to point I can't even engage in that medium.
So I love the idea of communicating in a way that doesn't put a burden of response on someone—because it is happening in realtime. Instant messaging can be exhausting whereas a phone call or video chat can be life-giving. And when it is over, then it is over.
Oct 19, 2024
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usually to people from your past, or maybe not. any text that you know better than to send right now, or ever. texts of things you wish you could say, or that you're thinking, but can't share for whatever reason.
this may not be a healthy way of going about it, it might be a form of holding on when i need to let go. probably no better than talking to myself. but i find that:
1. it gives me that feeling of release, that i got it out of my body and it isn't burning on the inside of my skull anymore, which is usually what drives me to send texts like this in the first place
2. it brings a feeling of strength and pride when i DON'T hit send. when i backspace the whole thing. i typed it out, and it was 1 send button away, and i still didn't bite. that must count for something
Feb 19, 2024
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Remote, cucumber, bag of chips, house keys. Not sure they get anything out of it, but they just seem happy to be kept in the loop.
Feb 24, 2024
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It bums me out whenever someone's trying to say something but cuts themselves off or says "nevermind" because they assume that they're wasting time. Think it through, or let it come back to you. 3 years ago, I started saying, "Talk through the thought" with my friend, and I think it's made me more patient, and I've ended up hearing/saying some cool shit (or at least some funny shit) that I would've probably missed out on otherwise.
Feb 23, 2024
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Sometimes what’s understood still needs to be said
Apr 10, 2024