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idk about other phones but if u have an iphone they have all kinds you can turn on and just make sure itâs set to show people youâre on dnd. then if they go to text you theyâll see youâre working/taking personal time/etc. i have the one set up for work hours, one for therapy and yoga, sleep, i also put them on when i am doing my something else (painting, cooking, movie) and donât want to be bothered. IMO you donât really have to announce it and it also may not go over well if you tell people their texts drive you crazy â it might just be better left unsaid. (unless youâre getting spammed with like ten calls in a row then you probably should) i think eventually theyâll just adjust to you not being reachable 24/7. (just donât ghost people for a bunch of days if they ask you an important question lol) i used to feel obliged to respond to everything ASAP and iâm still mostly a âgood texterâ but i donât feel the need to interrupt things to respond to texts or text abt something non-time sensitive if iâm not in a mood to (outside my mom lol, i always answer her the same day) and i think most people in my life understand that bc i just am not reachable 24/7 and have that boundary. i donât know if you can just stop people texting you a lot but i think if you reshape your response time they will have to adjust/come to terms with that
Nov 19, 2024
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đł
first, outside of time-sensitive requests / emergencies, you donât owe anybody an instant reply. i fully endorse sillygirltypebeatâs recommendation of focus modes to let people know when youâre away - outside of that, just be clear that youâre not helicoptering your notifications all day, and if you have friends who canât accept that than you might need to go your separate ways.
second, while you donât owe anybody an *instant* reply, you should probably set a regular time every day to get on top of your messages - personal, professional, etc. i check my email, dms, and messages on various services once when i wake up, once in the afternoon, and once before i âclock outâ (i wfh lmao) for the day. blocking out time to do this daily ensures that (1) your total unread messages never gets to the point where itâs debilitatingly stressful, and (2) because you have a set time to check them, you can turn all your messaging notifications off and happily mute any non-essential conversations totally guilt-free, because you know you have a set time to get back to it.
my friend group discord is muted, my dms are largely muted, my email is *definitely* muted, and in every focus mode i have muted all notifications except phone calls from my parents / partner / roommates, but despite all that almost everybody in my life can rely on a response from me within at least 48 hours. notification discipline really matters
Oct 19, 2024
đŻ
okay i got some really amazing advice from fellow piffers a few weeks back when i was drowning with texts AND felt like a dick for telling my friends and family that getting their messages made me want to kms lol. but being honest about how i felt is super helpful so i donât become a ball of rage. usually in a more gentle way, but being honest that texting isnât a great way to connect with me is v important to foregrounding my relationships nowadays.
do not disturb really helped me take away from feeling constantly available to people. i see their texts when i get the time to, not when they *need* or *want* me to. removing the feeling of being obligated to someoneâs messages has made me feel less awful about texts and calls. esp bc i am busy so often that their messages used to interrupt my day, my flow, my viiibbbee.
still trying to figure out why relationships feel like obligations to me rn⌠i feel like that is the core issue of my rage/anxiety feelings from texts and calls.
Nov 19, 2024
đľ
If I get a bunch of texts right away in the morning my lizard brain will be like, âis everyone literally suffocating me right now?â Iâve found it helpful to use the Focus settings on the iphone to show my friends that Iâm in hermit mode, that way I wonât see the notification right away and they donât feel ignored. Then later in the day I can reply when I am in the right spirit and wanting to connect. I also just straight up tell friends that I donât really do groupchats because they stress me out and they can take that or leave it đ¸ tldr: set digital boundaries and take advantage of windows of energy đŞâĄď¸
Oct 19, 2024
Top Recs from @marxinista
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being traditionally cool is really quite boring and iterative, and itâs actually very cool and sexy to geek out about something you like or share bits of knowledge on a topic youâre passionate about
Aug 17, 2024
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i had it for a little over a year until i was like wow this is actually terrible! i genuinely think it has negatively impacted society by ruining peopleâs attention spans, having a horrific algorithm, and most of all by the most mind-numbing or outright harmful trends -
fake words that people now use IRL (âunaliveâ), trad wife tiktok, shein hauls, body-focused fitness vids that encourage fatphobia and unhealthy habits, shallow political/feminist theory and queer discourse, âalpha maleâ podcaster tiktok, encouraging overconsumption in general, trends ruining local spots or niche things⌠the list goes on
Aug 17, 2024
a million times cooler than the lackluster âsleekâ tech color palette used today
Feb 22, 2025