Rec
👓
Got some news yesterday about someone I love
Suddenly a lot of things mattered less
Some wishy washy desires became goals
For a little while I had X-ray vision
The world sped up and slowed down at the same time
— I didn’t like the news but I’m glad I know it, because it was already a thing, so better to know
All at once without warning I’m living on a different planet: it is barren, hostile, rocky, and dry
But I know there are treasures here. I’m going to find them.
Suddenly a lot of things mattered less
Some wishy washy desires became goals
For a little while I had X-ray vision
The world sped up and slowed down at the same time
— I didn’t like the news but I’m glad I know it, because it was already a thing, so better to know
All at once without warning I’m living on a different planet: it is barren, hostile, rocky, and dry
But I know there are treasures here. I’m going to find them.
Dec 22, 2024
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⏰I left for a while to go on a study abroad experience. The more time passes after The Thing, the less life makes sense. I'm trying to get back to the people I used to know, to get back into the routine I had, the things I used to think.
But somehow EVERYTHING about and around me is different and I don't understand ANYTHING. My body is different, my time isn't the same and somehow even my thought process has changed.
I came back home expecting familiarity and warmth, and surprise, the world has obviously moved on (as I did) and nothing is the same, except all that is. Maybe not understanding everything I thought I had already integrated is part of growing up, I feel as if I'm shedding old skin to make room for new one, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm scared, confused, and generally don't really get the concept of time passing.
I never used to get when people said they wanted the world to stop for a second, because that wasn't me, I wanted more, faster, more, all of it. Now I get it. Let me lay here for a moment and not think about anything.
☆lookaliveodette!!!!!!☆
But somehow EVERYTHING about and around me is different and I don't understand ANYTHING. My body is different, my time isn't the same and somehow even my thought process has changed.
I came back home expecting familiarity and warmth, and surprise, the world has obviously moved on (as I did) and nothing is the same, except all that is. Maybe not understanding everything I thought I had already integrated is part of growing up, I feel as if I'm shedding old skin to make room for new one, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm scared, confused, and generally don't really get the concept of time passing.
I never used to get when people said they wanted the world to stop for a second, because that wasn't me, I wanted more, faster, more, all of it. Now I get it. Let me lay here for a moment and not think about anything.
☆lookaliveodette!!!!!!☆
Feb 26, 2025
Rec
my life has felt like a shitty coming of age movie the past 3 days. i’ve realized, coming home, my blood is still my own, as are my tears and my cuticles. the quiet isn’t unnerving, and i am shaken by the greys, whites, and browns i was so eager to dismiss in light of yellows and blues. nothing, and i don’t mean the lack of something, i mean nothing, feels as though it has for once taken up enough space. looking out the window for three hours does not feel a reminder of what could be or what is, what time may instead be spent doing, but an activity in itself. i am still, better yet, i am fulfilled by my stillness. it is no longer an excuse for exhaustion or boredom, but an entirely new feeling in itself.
Jul 6, 2025
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I’m currently traveling and my head is spinning with amazement. it’s more beautiful than I have or could have imagined. I’ve very grateful to be able to. to be able to try and be care free! I live nervously with myself still, and ive been getting waves of sadness at the end of the nights, feeling like an imposter, feeling as if I’m STILL not doing life right lol. but I am loved, I am taken care of, and I do have good things going for me. And I’m thousands of miles away from what haunts me, feels a bit better this far
This image/this energy is what I’m feeling not even exactly what it says
Jun 3, 2025
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