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As a Trans, I believe in Ariel Pink's gender dysphoria. This song technically came out right at the end of 2023. I heard it while on a run early in the morning in Setagaya City, Tokyo. In the track, Pink sings, "When I was born, something went wrong. They told me I was lucky-- I came this close to being a girl. But IĀ wantĀ to be a girl." I absolutely believe his dysphoric yearnings, and detect no sign of post-woke edgelordism. I think it's probably very common, yet hardly documented, when men feel like they want to be a girl, ultimately deciding to remain with their birth gender. In fact, I think this sentiment is rather trans-affirming. As one male friend of mine said of his COVID-era gender experience: "I couldn't decide if IĀ wantedĀ 'Her', or wanted toĀ be 'Her.'" It's a brave stance to portray in a song, one that edges on Macklemore's "When I was in the 3rd grade, I thought that I was gay", but with all the heart and none of the corny virtue signaling. AndĀ it's wayyyy too catchy.Ā
Dec 30, 2024
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Historically, I have been too insecure to be a girl. That pressure of prettiness, of being delicate, of being desirable. I refused to engage. But this year something has shifted. I love cardigans, I want to talk about how I do my hair, I learned how to do make-up. Even though I'm not a model, I adore making myself feel pretty and sexy. I'm falling in love with the culture of feminism, and reclaiming mother earth as a mother. Girlhood is something so insanely precious and now, despite it being so hard, I am so unbelievably grateful I get to experience it. Want to merge my soul with every woman on the planet and scream OH HOW I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!
Jan 17, 2025
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thank you for being vulnerable. but yeah, as a cis woman, boyhood always made me wistful in a way that i couldnāt really place. i am a woman and am comfy with that. personally, girlhood and womanhood are an important part of my artistic vision and practice as that experience has its own lessons and experiences that i wouldnāt trade for the world. however, i think the (what seemed to me when i was little) lack of societal pressure from the helicopter of culture for boys was something i was for sure envious of. as i grew up, i realized men and boys have plenty of their own societal pressures to reject or succumb to. i have two younger brothers and the novelty of boyhood sort of wore off for me as i watch them grow up. but thereās still a piece of young me that longs for the potential of earnestness in young male friendships and adventure. i think it would also be cool to walk around at night with headphones on in a lot of places.
Jun 28, 2024
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and I feel lucky about that; it made me who I am today!
But as an adult woman I can definitely relate and I imagine what it would be like to feel that sense of freedom from being perceived as a woman and the societal expectations that come with that. Sylvia Plath said it best in her journals:
āYes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regularsāto be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recordingāall this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...ā
I do think though that itās fruitless to fixate on these things, imagining the grass to be greener on the other side and essentially wishing you could have grown up and lived as another person, because 1 itās not possible 2 the life you imagine has so many downsides to it too that you canāt even imagine not having experienced itself and 3 if you were a different person then the You you are now wouldnāt exist, and that would be a shame! I also think men are having a tough time now and many of them are probably just as neurotic, inhibited, and fearful as women.
Obviously people are free to reject these notions and live life as whoever they want, and I respect and appreciate those who choose to do this, but Iām not interested in doing that for myself. Instead, I challenge the boundaries of what it means to be a woman in the ways that I can, which feels like the right choice for me!
Jun 28, 2024
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I watched the sunrise every morning this past week in Mexico. When I looked to my left and right, everyone was taking photos of it. Iām very anti āPut your phone away and enjoy the showā vibes, I think thatās pretentious and naive. BUT: when itās something as simple and common as a sunrise, the effect actually IS better if you just let it all in IRL. Because you probably will never look at that photo again. If you can google image search something, why would you need an image of it?
Nov 21, 2023
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Eat a fried egg with a sliced up banana in the same biteā¦ pure illegal pleasure
Nov 4, 2023
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I think this song gets a bad rap. Sure, it was overplayed, and probably got way bigger than it should of. But that style of indie pop has such potential to be clean, highly danceable, catchy bliss. Taking notes from Neon Trees for next Frost projectā¦
Nov 17, 2023