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Historically, I have been too insecure to be a girl. That pressure of prettiness, of being delicate, of being desirable. I refused to engage. But this year something has shifted. I love cardigans, I want to talk about how I do my hair, I learned how to do make-up. Even though I'm not a model, I adore making myself feel pretty and sexy. I'm falling in love with the culture of feminism, and reclaiming mother earth as a mother. Girlhood is something so insanely precious and now, despite it being so hard, I am so unbelievably grateful I get to experience it. Want to merge my soul with every woman on the planet and scream OH HOW I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!
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As a child growing up with brothers and as the fat black kid, i never considered myself feminine. Even when i lost weight in middle school and went to an all girls high school, looking girly or being more âfeminineâ was just not something i thought about.
I feel like recently, i wanted to explore that more, as this pull to dress and appear more feminine has become super strong. Having a house to decorate in any way I can, actually starting to feel better about my body to wear skirts again, etc has really influenced me. But my fears are that it may portray trad wife or childâs play; Iâm nervous of stares or being questioned about my views if i were to give such a strong appearance of a girly woman.
But some of my inspirations have been strolling through vintage creators and small japanese insta accounts with super pink and fluffy aesthetics.
Hopefully i will build up the courage
Jan 5, 2025
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When I think about âmy tastesâ in an expansive way, I think the common thread is explorations of femme-nessâ living as a woman, being perceived as a woman, experiencing girlhood, existing as a woman within (or really under) masculine cultures/political structures/households etc. I often joke to my friends that I donât read male authors because I donât want a tourists guide, but I do find that almost all of the art I enjoy is womenâs work.
Favorite artists: Faith Ringold, Camille Claudel, Artemisia Gentileschi, Claudette Johnson
Favorite poets/writers/authors: Maggie OâFarrell, Ada LĂŹmon, bell hooks, Charlotte BrontĂ«, Valeria Luiselli
Favorite directors: Celine Sciamma, Kelly Reichardt, Celine Song, Sarah Polley, Greta Gerwig
Favorite films: Petite Maman, The Worst Person In The World, Frances Ha, Ladybird
Outside of the art I consume, I think my life is very oriented around womanhoodâ my apartment is overtly a womanâs house, my closest friends are women, the ways that I exercise and cook and dress are all intentionally oriented around my womanâs body and itâs cycles and needs but also the expression of being a woman, like not just a human person but a Woman, in the way that bell hooks and Virginia Woolf write about.
Dec 18, 2024
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In cinema, women who take pride in their appearance by investing time in their makeup, hair, and outfits while also indulging in the finer things in life are commonly villainised.
Whether it is loving to splurge on materialistic things, such as expensive clothes and jewellery, handbags, or shoesâthe portrayed women are usually always the antagonist.
Take Highschool musical. Sharpay, a woman who prided herself on her appearance was solely obsessed with status and boys.
The Devil Wears Prada. Andy was portrayed to be less inclined with her appearance and therefore the most âkind-heartedâ character within her workplace, while the other ladies who were equally diligent at their jobs and who also worked equally long hours and busted their butts were portrayed to be snubbish and rude. As Andy then moved on to change her appearance, she maintained her self respect but lost it from her partner (to me this heavily reinforced the notion that âboys donât like women who spend money on their looks blah blah blah they just want a ârealâ woman) due to her changing appearance and her dedication to her job.
Legally Blonde. She never did it for herself in the first place, she did it to prove herself to her ex-boyfriend. She ended up becoming an awesome lawyer at the end but I hated that she started off ditsy and they couldnât even get her character to be somewhat professional for a Harvard Interview tape, really undermining her professionalism.
Grease. Dany loved Sandy. AND SHE STILL CHANGED HER WHOLE STYLE FOR HIM AT THE VERY END.
In these these movies, itâs also common for the more âtom-boyishâ women to tear down the more âfeminineâ women, which in my personal experience unconsciously led me down the same behaviour path while I was in my impressionable teen years. Women so focused on tearing other women down.
For the longest time growing up, I detested the colour pink and I hated wearing makeup and dresses. Instead, I skateboarded and played soccer and video games on my DS and PSP (which I loved to do) while I was secretly jealous of my sisterâs pink barbie dolls and sparkly dresses. All these movies that I grew up watching, although I didnât know it then, looked down on the idea of enjoying the feminine things in lifeâespecially to get a boys attention. As an insecure kid, it really messed me up, thinking the only way I could get a boys attention was rejecting the things I secretly liked. What young girls needed was a mix of representation of strong women while not vilifying a lifestyle. It took a lot of self-reflection and development as well as maturity to unlearn the inherent behaviour patterns that I learnt through the media I was consuming. Especially unlearning the phrase a lot of teen girls are familiar with: âgirls are too much drama.â
No, girls are not too much drama.
It is okay to like pink, to like makeup and dresses, to be materialistic and enjoy collecting shoes and bags. The right man/partner for you wonât care what you choose to do with your appearance, but will encourage you to be happy. And most importantly, you will be happy.
As a 23 year old Civil Engineer by trade, women are awesome. No matter their style preference or job choice. I like materialistic things, I get my nails done once a month, and my eyebrows done once a fortnight, and I love to shop for clothes and handbags. But Iâd also like to believe this isnât my soul personality trait, I like to go to the gym, I am a big gamer and I love to read, Iâve been watching anime since I was nine, and playing in the mud on rainy days is still a fun secret hobby of mine.
I also would like to believe that I am a good person who is also good at what I do, and that I also possess my own drives and passions, despite my love for pink and Christian Dior.
Jan 23, 2025
Top Recs from @rozzyfux
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Literally every meal is made better by the addition of an egg. Rice? Stir fry an egg in. Sandwich? Fried egg. Any breakfast food? Scramble one on the side. Life is better with eggs đ
Feb 2, 2025
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In the club, I shut my eyes. Everything is infinite.
Feb 2, 2025
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Any reason to go to the pub really! But I love the camaraderie of all doing a quiz together:
- coming up with a silly team name
- being rowdy and bantering with the quizmaster
- that feeling when you got a question right that you weren't sure about
- always an excuse to get another pint
- when a round is announced and you know that someone on your team is about to nail it
- winning (naturally)
It's just extremely fun
Jan 9, 2025