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you’ve overcame the first step: honesty and vulnerability

you’re not in denial about your feelings! and you shouldn’t be because there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do especially because you want to change this train of thought. i’m 26, lived a very sheltered life and would probably be what may be considered a “late bloomer”. couple that with only going to community college and graduating in the midst of lockdowns, i “lost” even more of my “younger years”. when i was 21-24, i definitely let those same emotions run their course on me. i used to get pretty upset even watching coming of age movies or watching college kids go about their day to day lives. i realized i didn’t want that feeling to run my life. as harsh as it sounds, you just have to remind yourself that you cannot go back in time. you’ll waste more time wallowing than you will growing and learning and exploring, causing you to internalize these negative feelings more. go out and explore and make mistakes and make sure to surround yourself with people are accepting of the fleeting nature of life as well. also, you have so much adulthood ahead of you. 23 is not much in the grand scheme of things. i’m sure there are people 20, 30, 40+ years older than you who haven’t worked through this thought process yet and are jealous of your youth. from where i stand right now, and based off those i know who are older than me, you never really stop learning how to be an adult. all in all, there is no switch to turn off your emotions, so i know it’s easier said than done. 23 in general seems to be a rough year existentially for many, so just know you’re not alone, especially in the current cultural context. aging is a gift! so try to accept that gift gracefully by going easy on yourself.

@deardoveswings

Jul 11, 2024

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recognizing youth as a paradox

you’ll never be this young again… The never ending extensional crisis and dread of your early twenties, the part which they don’t tell you about.  When suddenly everyone expects you to have it all figured out, yet also seems to understand no one has it figured out in their 20s. Young adulthood becomes a constant paradox, A line between maturity and naivety so finely toed,  A time when you know everything and nothing at all,  Life will never be this clear and confusing again.  I’d like to exist within the chaos here forever, it’s a comfortable disaster,  A place in time where nothing has to make sense for it to mean everything.

@notlyndsie

Apr 14, 2024

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this year / turning 25

i honestly haven’t really put real hard thoughts to this but the other night at the porter robinson show, he had this transition where the screen asked questions such as “do you remember what your baby teeth felt like” and “when was the last time you hugged your mom,” and i stood there realizing i don’t really experience nostalgia in that sense, and i don’t really process the passing of time in that sense, but it did make me realize i‘m way, way older now besides the obvious things such as noticing your parents getting older, i think this year i finally felt it for real. whether it‘s younger friends pointing out that i‘m 25 and their tone just sounded like they’re scared of that number (haha), or me catching up with my older friends and they are telling me about their plans and wishes about turning 30 it’s the act of having to be responsible for yourself, really really having to do that this time, and having to plan ahead despite i’ve always just lived life as it stands—and how much i’m struggling to do it. how frustrating it is to face the problems i’ve been running away from and still having no idea how to fix them, but just knowing that i’ll have to, that really feels like growing up anyway this is too long✌🏼

@gomizhou

Sep 13, 2024

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Top Recs from @icha

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people really do come and go

i have always known this. that people come and go. but it was only recently that this statement really… struck me. i guess that no matter how much you want people to stay in your life, sometimes it‘s just inevitable. though it was hard at first to let go of ‘your person’, i also realized that relationships are maintained by more than just one person. so no matter how much you want to keep those people in your life, to save the relationship and connection that you have, at the end of the day, they also have a say in what they feel and what they want. and if what they want is to be out of your life, then the best thing that you could do is to accept and respect that. it’s the best thing that you could do. not only for them, but also for you.

@icha

Dec 31, 2024

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overpriced food, but you’re with the right people.

nothing beats the aftermath feeling of hanging out with your homies that you haven’t seen for a long while, knowing that you had a well spent day with the right people. my heart is full.

@icha

Jan 3, 2025

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capturing moments

people have their own way to capture memories, and mine is to capture it through film! there’s just something romantic about capturing moments with film camera. the knowledge that once you press that shutter button, there’s no going back. there is no retakes, or trying to check if it was out of focus. you just hope that you got the aperture right and there‘s enough lighting to perfectly capture the moment right there and then. here’s one of my favorite films captured in 2024! oh how i wish i could attach more than just one pic here.

@icha

Jan 1, 2025