My friend today asked me an amazing question. He said, āDo you think the avoidance thing is specific to our generation or LA specific? Like is someone in Arkansas thinking about anxiety?ā
Obviously yes someone in Arkansas is thinking of anxiety haha but it made me really think. Our generation is HORRIBLE (me included) at facing shit and taking accountability. Itās all masked underneath this ātherapy talkā shit.
Hear me out. Letās say you have a friend and youāre feeling conflict/tension with them. After a few weeks of them being mean, you confront them about it. Theyāre passive and not addressing their actions. We would INSTANTLY write them off as āAVOIDANTā versus āA friend whoās hurting me by being shitty even if they donāt intend to.ā
And yes, that friend is being āavoidantā. But, thatās a simple write off for behavior. Behavior has been so quickly written off to fit into this Therapy Talk.
Hereās another example: A girl who really likes someone is attaching to them quickly because sheās excited to get to know them and is having so much fun, sheās moving faster than usually and trying to rush commitment. Society would consider her āAnxiously attachedā versus āThis girl is really into this person and itās shifting her choices and actions.ā
I think what iām getting at is, it seems dismissive and avoidant to just simplify these big feelings and actions into these terms when in reality, yes the terms are true. But, we should probably be making space to really talk and express in full detail a persons actions including our own, and get to the bottom of it. The categories can be apart of the larger narrative, but they arent the full reasoning.
I hope this made sense lol