i understand ur struggle, and its a very real thing to feel as though you have no identity in a capitalistic society that "sells" you your personality and interests. the best thing i reccommend you do is to unlearn that behavior first. unlearn to rely on items as a means of self expression. yes ofc fashion and makeup are great ways to express who you are (things that i love and partake in) but its important to recognize that this is a behavior we are taught; you buy something in the hopes it will achieve something, like how we buy band tees even tho we're total posers because we want to seem cooler than we really are. to live authentically and to discover who you really are as a person, you need to question WHO you are. what are your values? what are your thoughts on life? how do you feel about your existence? our life on this earth is limited and this is something everyone, regardless of religion, can agree on. instead of trying to find your identity thru what you can purchase, try to find it by questioning what it is you want from life. eventually, you will find that as you explore your values, morals, and desires you will naturally gravitate towards things that fulfill that. for example, i have a personal interest in human health and biology and i explored this interest by learning about nutrition. now, i love to cook and i love to make my own recipes. finding yourself shouldnt feel like a task that needs to get done. its more so something you do for the rest of your life, even as u die. to live is not "to find yourself", but rather to live a life that feels fulfilling. hope this helped!
Comments (2)
Make an account to reply.
this is so beautifully said. the key is to find that dopamine rush from the daily doings of the things you love!!
Related Recs
π¦
reinvention for the sake of reinvention is silly. I'm sure you're a cool person as is, and change and growth are good, but you shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater and just randomize a new set of hobbies and personality traits and whole vibe...
figure out what values you're committed to, figure out what you like about yourself, figure out what traits you value in others... explore, meet people, learn from their perspectives, keep an open mind, try new things. Explore art in different media--it doesn't have to be fine portraits and sculptures... sometimes you just go from being a TV person to being a movie person and movies start to give you new perspectives.
but don't just pick up personality traits ad-hoc. keep a focus on who you want to be and stay directed towards that goal. explore, but don't get distracted, don't get lost.
Apr 18, 2024
β
i find that it's about knowing yourself and who you've always been, then taking that into the world, having new experiences and doing things, and eventually finding little bits of yourself out there in the world. it's easy to forget but hold onto what you love and you'll keep yourself, and if you keep yourself you'll know without question.
Feb 17, 2025
π
been having a lot of conversations with friends and family about people feeling stuck - stuck in the first job they got out of undergrad, stuck in an industry they don't care for, stuck in a place they don't feel connected to, stuck with a story they inherited not one they wrote for themselves. our society imposes on us the damaging narrative that we have until age 18 to choose the way in which we will be a productive member of society, and then until age 22 to acquire the skillset to do so, then we must contribute in that way until retirement. finding yourself having followed this path but feeling disconnected to your core values/desires/goals is not uncommon. this was me when i was 23, and to a lesser extent i am finding myself in a similar situation now as a recent 26 year old. you are not alone. here's my advice:
find what motivates you, and pursue it with abandon. obviously there are economic realities that make this movment difficult, and this is by design. needing to work for survival keeps us fitting neatly into the roles we've been assigned and makes breaking this mold difficult. this system robs us of our time and energy that we could otherwise apply towards self-actualization. this (combined with the narrative that diverging from a singular career focus will stunt your progress and hinder your sucess) keeps us frozen in a mindset of scarcity and immobility. you have more agency than you realize, though, and your only compass should be that which makes you flourish as an individual.
reject consistancy, humans are too complex to be burdened with the obligation to be stagnant. we are told that we have core competencies that make us assets in one specific capacity. this is an economic reality, not a human one. in truth, humans are more capable and dynamic than we know. that which you apply towards one field can just as easily be applied to another, and your "career" can look like making use of your knowledge and skill across many fields and roles and places. don't feel obligated to limit yourself to one narrow path. edify yourself by allowing your compass to guide you along a broad and diverse path.
lastly, reject narratives that are not true to your experience. during this period of regaining your agency and taking control of your own direction in life, you will be met with the well-meaning voices of those who have internalized the narratives of our culture, and they will weaponize this against you. they will tell you to fall back in line, to not seek out that which you know to be good for you. do not fall into weariness. you owe it to yourself to find flourishing where you can, and to follow the moving target that will lead you there.
what you are doing is brave, and authentic to your true self. answer to no other voice but your own. the corporate climate is so entrenched in the ways of our world and it is starting to reveal itself as a system which does not serve us as individuals. to a certain extent this is out of our control, but in realizing this you can also become more in tune with that which you can control in and of yourself. best of luck friend.
Aug 5, 2024
Top Recs from @wwxx222
robert eggers ure a mad fucking genius. favorite movie. by far. also robert pattison i love u plz give me a chanceπ«
Jan 9, 2025
its my favorite album of all time. by the time he made in utero, he had already defined his style and really settled into his sound thru bleach and nevermind, but what makes this album the best of nirvana is his return to the punk roots that brought him to the scene to begin with.
Jan 9, 2025
being a little kid in the 2000s, listening to adam f, entranced by the jason brook's artstyle on the covers of hed kandi. isnt it insane that we live in a universe that has existed for 13.8 billion years and i get to exist as the ideal arrangement of atoms, at the ideal time, to be able to experience house music?
Jan 10, 2025