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i am taking back my day by morning.
i want to see people, hear people, smell the coffee being brewed. i don’t wish to interact.
i walk with no purpose, undazed, lost in the agredious hour of cold. i am a victor of escaping my canopy - my bedsheets, my boredom. the internet awaits me. my mind humbles me.
i have to work today even though i don’t want to. i long for my journal and a cold covered novel. i think of kafka, i dream of bukowski. i scrub the shower, i bask in a pastry, i weep with dried lips.
i am vigilent. i hear the crack of ice under my feet. i push my brown boots forward. i feel my gloves bundled in my pocket begging to be used. my hands are maroon and moist. my bed is made, hospital corners tucked, back in my abode. i jangle my keys between my fingers then sit mindlessly. lingering for tomorrow already.
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This is my favorite poem as of right now <3 I used to think I hated mornings until I realized I’m just a slow riser. Any Buk recommendations? I’ve read Pulp and On Love but I’m looking for more to read.
vague_magenta_porpoise i would check out:
-you get so alone that at times it just makes sense
-let it enfold you
-women
-love is a dog from hell
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I woke up this morning and drank so much coffee from an aluminum mug while sitting by the window from where where I could hear bird songs, from where I smell the midwestern springtime like I did from my grandmother's midcentury ranch in Cadott, Wisconsin, where when I was a small child I could look out and see nothing but clotheslines, rusted metal husks of cars, corn stalks for miles, and I would hear the train go by in the dead of the night, bringing the warm weather with it.
This morning I read the last forty pages of Nausea by Sartre (the best part of the book imo, the hilltop passage was so incredible), and I sat down to write my heart out for thirty minutes. Another wonderful morning in Chicago and the future is real and viable and most of all, worth discovering!
Gooood morning.
May 15, 2024
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something lovely about terrorizing the early bird crowds with my bleary eyes and puffy face<3
Jan 24, 2024
i love slow mornings— sipping coffee without hurry, feeling the buzz settle in, watching the clear and blue skies while snuggled in my warmest hoodie.
no deadlines, no stress, just a quiet start, where nothing feels urgent and the morning is mine to enjoy. reading a book, scrolling through articles, crafting, creating something new.
just a morning that’s free, unrushed and for me to enjoy
Feb 21, 2025
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outside my window the world is quieter but more awake. there is a startling rattle in the bones of the workers clutching the garbage bags lining the sidewalks and a sympathetic plea from the pups whose pads are cold and impatient.
one more day before freedom. an easy day, a slow day, a day of understanding perhaps - friday. on fridays, the day eases past. half of the office works harder, letting the tasks flow by as if exerting effort makes minutes deteriorate more quickly. the other halfs eyes strain and wait. breathing in with a sudden movement only every few minutes simply lollygagging the time away.
i find myself on the latter today - or possibly somewhere trapped in the middle. regardless the mantra rings out. thursdays are easy. they are forgiving. maybe even hopeful.
Jan 23, 2025
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my laundry list of labels hangs above my head and trails behind my heels. the entries are daunting, extensive, calculated, and forced. i had no choice in the matter and no vote in the deliberation.
i simply was, i merely am. when i was nine, some of my nicknames frightened me. as i grew older, they emboldened me. an abbreviation of who i am or a subtle joke to who i am becoming. a quaint and affectionate disposition murmured from a loved one.
i am learning to embrace it all. i aspire to be honed into a singular, titular syllable. maybe a vowel. a sound that mimics the feelings my personna evokes. i am drenched in headlines and overwhelmed with paraphrasing - yet i encourage those that befall upon me.
what will you call me? will it roll off the tongue and past your teeth playfully? will those around you know the story behind it? the label, the noise, the creed. it won’t define, but it sure will shape. i plan to enjoy it thoroughly and turn my head in affirmation when called upon.
Jan 22, 2025