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as human with choice so language and all its constraints are not my friend. learning about language change has really changed my perspective on eveyrhting. uknow theres only three records of shakespeare writing his name and get this- every time it was different! because the rules of language are all impositions. and i simply DESPISE! how people act like some divine omnipotent being came down to delcare that every word spoken must adhere to arbitrary rules. no, the losers of this world have been trying to impose order onto the inherently absurd since the 1400s. simple put, everything is in constant flux and change. one day nobody will understand english and all our so dear verbs and grammartical rules will be akin to a butterfly flapping its wings in the light. simply un-understandable. so i think illiteracy or percieved illiteracy- to make your own lingo and stay to your dialect is a great way to rebel against the malevolent forces of capital.
Jan 27, 2025

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it makes me feel like tearing my skin off in chunks. i hate it with a passion. especially when people choose to willfully misinterpret you because the self righteous euphoria that they get from feeling like they’re right is more important than actual human communication. im practically vibrating with anger right now it feels like i’ve swallowed a bee. anyways. be kind love others never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence the world is so much bigger than the palm of your hand.
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and that’s the problem, people sometimes lack the nuance that’s essential to well rounded critical thought and engagement. as an hbo prestige television enjoyer, i love a morally gray or even deplorable character as long as the subject material treats the character with the “don’t condemn OR condone” mentality. the same goes for literature imo. its also largely dependent on the context in which the work is being taught (not so much when it was made bc “it was a different time” usually ends up adding fodder to frustrating arguments). for example, junior year of high school i found it really odd that my white teacher decided to use of mice and men to chastise the use of the n word, to a class of mainly black students. very weird and also not the point of the book (but she got better after this and instilled a lot of good stuff in my brain). again, not to link this to the arts as a whole, but i feel the separating the art from the artist narrative exacerbates this as well. nothing is wrong with enjoying work from a morally dubious person but i think separating their art from their morals is a weird way of engaging with work. another example: a musician i really loved who was found out to have very off putting (borderline illegal) behavior towards women but from time to time i will play a song for old times sake. however when i listen, oftentimes i realize, yes these ARE the lyrics of a man who does not take rejection well. the work exists in the contexts of the authors morals but you aren’t and don’t need to be waving a flag saying “I CONDONE EVERYTHING IN THIS WORK”. all in all, a huge key to engaging with classic lit critically is being comfortable with (not sure comfortable is the best term. familiar, maybe?) with gray area and be ready to navigate accordingly.
May 9, 2024
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just sio important for character itneracting. had a great conversation with a genetic scietnistic person and i was all like so gmo- immportant for science eh? nova 1 study eh rats and alnguage right and they were all like yes!so and so forth there was a great exchanging of ideas becuase not ego, not valiance, not uh the other stuff and so but the learned dispostion i carry. anyways what i am really saying is that the world is very wide and very interesting, course but it is the characters, the people that inhibit it and all the wild ways you can meet them that really are the life of existence. i jsut feel maybe this maturity, age , this learned dispostion has greatly increased my ability to discuss all sorts of things with all sorts of people and ! these people are very interesting! these discussion are always fun! us extroverts who aren't actually , good at extroversion need to build that brocheure of learning to talk cuz talk we must.
Jun 1, 2025

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seriously, what a beautiful thing. i just emerged from one, oh a warm fountain of clean water. it's a real luxury. and a nice oil or lotion and a facial moisturiser. clean pyjamas. what a rejuvenating and lovely thing.
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i have decided us ballerinas of shuttle cocks must continue our fiery fight despite the beast of challengers(2024)
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trust- this will be the timeless trend tradiition for millenium to come. the ballerinas tennis- the circumfrence of agility and grace and galloping badminton is this. tennis is for the weak-minded who must laze in the simulacra of grass and hitthings really hard but badminton lives in the sports hall among squash and gymnastics and karate. aswell, easy to pick up and play. importanttly, it is a very fashionable sport. you cna roam around with your racket bag and everyone encountered will know ur slay.
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