whenever i find myself in these situations i remind myself that we are all subject to the same cycles of suffering, the same grasping and the same resistance to change. i can recall many times where i have been an annoyance or a negative person and it's usually due to an internal problem that i'm dealing with. i like to give people the benefit of the doubt and remember that their behavior is likely a result of their own suffering.... always reminding myself that the negativity of others is not mine to carry. i think that the western way of thinking (huge emphasis on self-centeredness, individuality, seeking for power) allows us to slip into this headspace, where you are upset with others for not doing things the way you would or simply doing things that disrupt our own activities, very easily. it's not necessarily your fault but more so how we've been conditioned... practicing compassion seems easy in theory but can be very hard in practice sometimes. providing yourself with gentle reminders about the truths of our silly little existence is the best way to counteract the irritation you feel at times. remind yourself that we are just little animals and that these feelings are just weather and it will pass.
Jan 29, 2025
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i focus on what i can control and my personal strategy is compassion - we are not so different and even when there is difficulty i do my best to understand what may be hurting and why, and hold space and patience and empathy for that person which will hopefully encourage their own cooperation. it’s easy to focus on the negative but maintaining a personal peace in which you don’t take others’ actions too personally will alleviate that judgment and helps me shift into a mindset of understanding and even detachment so i can focus on the problem to solve!!
Oct 4, 2024
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What you allow in your life (ie poor behavior, bigotry, inconsideration, etc.),
you‘re subconsciously saying this behavior is ok. I know, I know. ”But what does it say about me if I am not accepting of others?”
In the grand scheme, you’re saying “I’m ok with people treating those I care about like shit.“
This is a hard one to learn. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, that same benefit of the doubt is enabling flat out shitty people to keep being shitty people.
So what do you do? You want to make sure everyone feels cared for? Start with yourself. The next time that one friend who says everything that’s on their mind hurts your feelings, tell them. watch How they react. Watch if they do it again. And decide from there. Because at the end of the day, you aren‘t obligated to keep people in your life, whatever the reason.
Jan 29, 2025
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It's easy to get trapped in the intense emotions of those moments, and I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Try to distance yourself from the event as much as you can (don't take your work home, do something you enjoy after work, take a de-stressing nap, etc.) I've been in various support positions for over 10 years at this point, and you eventually start to get a thick skin for the irrational jerks out there, but here are some methods you can use to reframe things when it feels like too much:
- Think about the relative importance of the task at hand. So many things we get bogged down with in our day to day work is practically meaningless in the grand scheme of things. "We're not saving lives." is a phrase I hear quite a bit, so unless you actually are, it might help to think of how ridiculous it is for the person on the other end to get worked up over something not going as planned.
- Consider your worth as an individual in that moment. Just because your job is to help others doesn't mean it's not their job to treat you like a fellow human. I've had several managers over the years that have really stepped up in situations that escalated past the point of reason. Those moments helped me realize I should be advocating for myself more.
- Remember you're not responsible for other peoples' reactions. I have seen people start fuming over the most basic of obstacles, while others have approached fairly large problems with a completely calm, collected demeanor. Even if you were at fault for something that got messed up, an explosive reaction from the other side just exposes the type of person they are. It's not about you or your competence!
Hang in there, and I hope some of this helps
Aug 13, 2024
Top Recs from @sw33tp0tat0
Feb 3, 2025
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ur local library is the best place in the world pls go it'll be so good and so worth it there r so many books and it's so fun to say hi to the older people reading their newspapers
Jan 23, 2025
i've never seen this bumper sticker before and yesterday i saw it three times i guess i needed a reminder
Feb 6, 2025