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Jan 30, 2025
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i see what you mean but like someone else said, we tend to add labels to things outside the binary. with that said, i think itās an easy, go-to term to describe a situation with someone where itās exactly as you described - boundaries were set but you had your hopes up, while of course without having to explain in embarrassing detail what those boundaries were and what you decided to believe
having been in that same situation and speaking from personal experience, i can say the word itself is telling of what the situation is and what needs to be worked on (if the word is being used right) and was used to mask my shame and failure to admit my faults
from being in that situation, i learned how to set boundaries for myself and also how to respect them and know what i want and donāt want. i think thatās what a lot of people lack and what results in a āsituationshipā but i donāt think the term itself prohibits anyone from reflecting. if anything, it could play a part in that healing and learning process
every time i see this word used i think about how i once saw someone say āif u call someone ur situationship they probably donāt call u anythingā & it holds true every time. on top of reflection, if itās ongoing there needs to be actual communication happening.. maybe not every time but more often than not i find when people i know use this word, there never is, so āsituationshipā gets thrown around bc everyone involved is refusing to try and establish the āsituationā and thats sad to me! be w someone who either wants you or at least will be clear about what they want
Building off what you said, I also think we have very black/white thinking of relationships, so we need to create labels for things that fall outside the binary. I donāt believe there are any ārulesā so long as you communicate, set clear boundaries, and continue to be honest with yourself about what you want/expect ā and sometimes being honest with yourself is the hardest part!
I have friends who started as something physical or romantic, and sometimes we will still hold hands or make out or cuddle, but itās because we have the emotional safety and vulnerability to talk about what we want and how we feel. But thatās easier for me now in my 30s than it was earlier in my life.
i believe that it is a good thing to avoid using internet lingo for your actual life
