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Rec'd on 🌹 How do yall feel about Valentine‘s day?
I usually end up at chipotle or a bad chain restaurant just to feel something every valentine’s day…
… feeling like Mary and Joseph, turned away from the inn. Last year I had the forethought to make reservations and went with my paramour to a very nice smart casual Italian restaurant that serves fresh pasta; I neglected to check the dress code and accidentally dressed up too much in a red silk DVF wrap dress which made me feel like a harlot with a scarlet letter on my chest because everyone else was wearing very drab conservative clothing. My B but it was Valentine’s Day. 🤷‍♀️ Lots of people were understandably gawking at me in different ways, with men even openly ogling me right in front of their dates (and mine)! 🤢 It was obviously the low-energy, stodgy vibe of this place, but I felt disgusted by the ritualistic dynamic—so many couples sitting there at the same time packed like cattle in the designated Valentine’s Day date dining room, not talking, not even looking like they were having fun. Even we felt like we were there out of obligation, though we were definitely enjoying ourselves together. It felt like being in a funeral home. There are about a million places to go that would be a better choice for a lively date but I feel like I got the opportunity to tap into some darker spiritual plane and saw the commercial emptiness of the holiday. The whole thing had a weird, communal energy that icked me out, and I never want to celebrate Valentine‘s Day again, quite honestly. Anniversaries and other significant dates feel much more personal. Maybe it’s better to celebrate if you lean into the camp of it all but watching people take it so gravely seriously was depressing…
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@taterhole
Jan 30, 2025
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@ugliestbinch
Totally understand that! As someone who has worked in restaurants since I was 14 (and almost always work on Valentines Day), you really see how the day becomes more of an obligation rather than a celebration. Like do yall really WANT to be here or do you feel like you HAVE to be here? So many couples are agitated because they seem so stressed to make the day perfect, when you really don’t HAVE to.
Jan 30, 2025
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@redglassheart_
you have a way with words! i always enjoy reading your anecdotes. i could envision myself in that restaurant haha
Jan 30, 2025
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@taterhole
redglassheart_ thank you I really appreciate you saying that and taking the time to read what I have to say 🥹 it was bleak lmfao
Jan 30, 2025
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@redglassheart_
taterhole it sparked this story, movie in me. “the ritual” i could see a short film or story about this couple - the odd ones out - and every other couple is zombie like & zoned out, going through the rituals of valentine’s day. i don’t know why i’m telling you all this 💀 but i found your story both entertaining and there’s also an overarching message that would make a good theme for my pretend short story or film
Jan 30, 2025
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@taterhole
redglassheart_ omfg I LOVE that I feel like that could be really interesting and unique and it would speak to compulsory heterosexual dynamics lol!!!! Thank you for sharing your idea with me I’m glad I could bring such a cool idea to your mind
Jan 30, 2025

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VALENTINES DAY PRO MOVES — read & adjust plans accordingly
2/14 falls on a Friday this year — literally the worst thing that could have happened. No matter what you try to tell yourself, any dining experience is going to be horrible / packed / overpriced. Avoid at all costs. Your Valentine’s Day plans are to STAY IN + COOK A ROMANTIC DINNER + MAKE OUT. Easy. “But Mariano, I wanted to take them out on a nice date?” — Yeah, so you will. Just not on Valentines day. You see, chances are if you’re on this app, you’re an intellectual person with good taste & an above-average IQ, which means you likely don’t care for sports. The beauty of this is that superbowl Sunday falls on 2/9, the Sunday before Valentine’s Day. My wife and I have used this as our V Day date night for the last 5 years and guess what? Incredible. The places you go to? Empty. The spot you can never get a reservation to? You can on superbowl Sunday. That place that you love that is always packed? Not on superbowl Sunday. It’s the best night to date someone. And especially to those in proximity to a bigger city, the city is empty. We love to grab dinner, take a walk, and then grab drinks. And we do it with empty sidewalks and no wait times on line. Your Valentine’s Day becomes a Valentines Week, started with a wonderful date night out on Sunday, to a week of love and surprises from M-Th, to a romantic date night in on Friday, to a slow, lazy morning on Saturday (or in our case, early morning heart shaped pancakes with our toddler). Parents! This also gives you a chance to enjoy a date night without the kiddo on Sunday, and then maybe include them in shifting your Friday night plans to be a family Valentine’s Day. Listen to me, a veteran married person / serial high school sweetheart dater — let me guide you in the way of maximizing your V Day plan this year + forever forwards.
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@marianoleonczik
Jan 31, 2025
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historically opposed but trying to make peace with it
don't have a great relationship with valentines day since it was one of my exes' birthdays and the last valentines i spent with someone didn't go super well. i've basically been single my whole adult life so i'm trying to find a way to make this holiday something i can interact with in positive terms. historically i would maybe take myself to a nice dinner or do a cozy night in, but i feel like in these settings it's really easy to notice the void that a romantic partner would fill. this year i'm taking my lonely ass to the dance club and shuffling the night away. call me robyn cuz this year i'll be dancing on my own and i wouldn't have it any other way rn
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@royallmonarch
Jan 30, 2025
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i love the sentiment (if we direct it to the right place)
i adore the idea of love building up to one big day of loving and appreciation. i too am against the hyper-consumerist event it’s become, but i try my best to reclaim it every year. i’ve never really had a true romantic valentine (it’s fine! i don’t mean that in a sympathy-fishing way) so i never felt a longing for someone else on valentine’s day. i use it as an excuse to wear a cute pink outfit and remind my friends that i appreciate them and they’re all my valentines. the world is my oyster of love. but, on the romantic end, i really like when i see couples put effort towards homemade gifts for each other or special valentines surprises that exist outside of the consumerist conventions that we tend to default to. i think we should all take efforts to move towards a ethical-thanksgiving-style type of day, focusing on the celebration of being grateful for all sorts of love that may have found you. romantic or platonic.
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@deardoveswings
Jan 30, 2025

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