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found this page from my notebook from two years ago. I like it, because it's just some of the things that i remember noticing and being present with as a child/ are reminiscent of my childhood and something about engaging with life with that childlike purity feels truly inspiring
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Feb 1, 2025

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the memories you described are so vivid for you because these are likely the formative experiences with those things that marked your first conscious interactions with them. as your child self this was an automatic process, but if you are intentional in approaching your current experiences with this same perspective, it could be enlightening. maybe you stop to notice the taste of a favorite food, what was it about the flavor that first drew you to it? maybe listen a bit harder to that one song, which lyric/melody/progression draws you out of passive listening. in general, more active observation and attention to your senses will provide you with new connections to the things that might have become mundane, as you've interacted with them so frequently that your mind numbs you them
Feb 22, 2024
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Not a rec but here to tell you that I also donโ€™t remember my childhood very well. I once had a conversation where I realized *I* was the weird one for not remembering much. I kind of wondered for a long time what was wrong with me. My memory is pretty bad generally to this day :/ Just putting this here so you feel a little less alone in this. My therapist will also try to get me to remember my child self but I feel pretty removed from her. It kind of sucks, but also I feel like i get glimpsesโ€ฆ I recently started using stickers in my journal when Iโ€™ve completed a book, and it makes me feel like a child again, but I really love it. Maybe there are glimpses that will come to you, but itโ€™s hard to go looking for them

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Today I got a job, deleted dating apps and bought myself flowers.
Feb 3, 2025
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inspired by: everything that went south in January this February for me is all about cherishing each challenge that comes my way. Cultivating gratitude for each inconvenience because 1) it could've been worse and 2) i can overcome it. -------> chugging water in the mornings -------> creative projects with friends -------> less phone time more computer time
Feb 1, 2025