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remember when you would skip over cracks because you didnt want to break your mothers back? or how no one knew why ripping up a piece of paper with a name makes that person call you. science cant explain it. erasing the name also works. but everyone knows if you put to much yearning behind this, it doesnt work. anyway anyway anyway.
Feb 3, 2025

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Not a rec but here to tell you that I also don’t remember my childhood very well. I once had a conversation where I realized *I* was the weird one for not remembering much. I kind of wondered for a long time what was wrong with me. My memory is pretty bad generally to this day :/ Just putting this here so you feel a little less alone in this. My therapist will also try to get me to remember my child self but I feel pretty removed from her. It kind of sucks, but also I feel like i get glimpses… I recently started using stickers in my journal when I’ve completed a book, and it makes me feel like a child again, but I really love it. Maybe there are glimpses that will come to you, but it’s hard to go looking for them
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My very first memory is a super duper random moment, stumbling over a rope bridge at a playground with my dad in my birth town, only memory there when I must have been around 2 years old. Remember feeling somewhat confused, but beyond this momentary image no other associations with it. I always wondered why this random ass moment was chosen to be so engrained in my brain and if it was maybe a precursor or aftermath to something else that was impactful enough to have made me register that- well if there was it did a good job hiding. In the end the symbol of both being on wonky, maybe unusual/unsteady pathways and the confusion associated with it came to be very familiar feeling for me early on in life, which I guess didn’t make it such a random memory after all.
Apr 14, 2024

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