do you ever think about getting older and forgetting the things and the people you loved that saved you when you were a kid? and essentially losing touch with your younger self? and how those things and those people and that kid will always be there for you, in ways you'll never understand? me neither!
May 17, 2024
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Nostalgia is so powerful. And so painful.
I’ve made Pinterest boards filled with hundreds of memories and toys and things that shaped my childhood. I’ve made playlists that include only songs that make me feel 6 years old again. I’ve watched movies that bring me the same wonder they did as when I watched them as a child.
But nothing will ever truly bring me back there. It’s gone forever. to know that I will never walk the halls of my elementary school building, or try and plant an apple seed in between the slides of the playground, or play tag with my best buddies ever again is something unbearable. life is so short. I miss it all of the time.
Adulthood has its perks as well. I never have to ask to go sleep over at a friends house and get told no. I can eat what i want. I can get a kitten if I feel like it. But I miss the simplicity and happiness of being a child. I miss just existing and being okay with that. i miss how I felt when I was 6, but I have to accept that I must leave that behind.
Maybe reincarnation is real. Maybe I will live through something like this life again?
There is an ache knowing I will never walk the same tiny footsteps as I once did. But alas, I’ll be 19 years from where I’m at now and miss this age just as much as I do then. The ache will take a new shape. And i will continue living on.
Feb 12, 2025
👶
i think it’s important to spend more time learning about the you now. i can honor who i was when i was younger without relating to my immature ideals.
i also don’t remember much about my childhood, but from what i do remember, i am pretty much exactly opposite in a lot of things. i would hate if my personality reflected some of the things i was taught growing up.
i also changed my name a few years ago, which makes me view young me as an entirely different person. but i really really like who i am now, and i’ve been intentionally exploring lots of things to find out what i actually like, connect to, and what brings me life.
don’t get stuck on the past (:
Aug 5, 2024
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there are fragments of myself that people i never will see again carry around daily. all parts and no wholes.
Mar 25, 2024
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Nov 12, 2024
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i love going to a party and saying "i should leave soon it's my turn to take stephen to day care in the morning." i don't have a kid. it's these sick little thrills that make life worth living.
Jan 10, 2025
tweet from @ web design museum with an archive of cool navigation bars from my childhood. gorgeous and lost.
Feb 28, 2025