That's what I wrote two weeks into the cupboard after a healthy dosage of crying. Picture shows the state of the cupboard at that point. My home was fucked.
While cutting wood, I once again caught myself seething at my father. He stuffed my head with a million useless bits of nonsense but never found the time for actual knowledge or skills. So I stepped into the big world armed with the wisdom that "all Germans are fascists," "you shouldn’t stand out," and "razor blades can be changed once a year, don’t fall for corporate tricks." Meanwhile, I had no idea how to properly hammer a nail.
Waltzing on the edge of slicing my fingers off, I cursed him to high heaven. Every skill had to be begged from YouTube or acquired through cuts. And that’s on top of digging out a hundred idiotic clichés and racist banalities from my head. Thanks for nothing, you piece of shit.
But then, somehow, I felt lighter. Fuck that asshole and his colleagues in the grand guild of assholery.
I’m at the age where I definitely don’t need to become the "best version of myself" anymore—enough of that, please.
I just need to be a decent version of my own responsible adult.
The kind who explains, teaches, entertains, and helps. The kind who doesn’t try to destroy or sadden you. And in this concept, where you’re your own Parent 1/2/15 Pro Max, it becomes easier to look at both age and baggage.
You’re standing exactly where they failed with you. Don’t fail yourself. Help, make yourself laugh, and don’t let yourself slice your fingers off.