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It can be so silly at times. Last night I was picking out what to wear to sleep and chose a shirt that belonged to my late uncle, which I had avoided wearing for the longest time, anyways today my father texted me that it’s actually the anniversary of his passing and I don’t know why but I laughed and it just made me feel like no matter how long he’s been gone he’ll still be with me. Just have to pay attention to the small things :)
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loved ones are always with us even through the small things. he loves you dearly.
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I’ve lost distant family members, patients, friends, etc., but I’ve never lost someone so close to me. I cried over everything and nothing and wished to feel anything but emptiness and loss. I laughed over memories and smiled at the sunset over a lake. I flew to GA just to feel the emptiness in person. Yet…I can’t help but feel happiness for knowing her voice, her love, her joy, her kindness, her unrelenting stubbornness. For seeing where she made her mark and who/where she made it in. Grief is weird and I’ll never not feel that void, but I hope I can grow to live and be comfortable with it.
Feb 17, 2025
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My cousin died a few months ago and him passing was the first time I realized that life is so unpredictable and weird. I had just saw him for the first time in 6 years during christmas time. He was him, the same funny smart ass that made everyone in the room laugh. He talked about how he loved nature at length, We talked about heading up north and camping because he has never been to Northern California and I knew he would love it up there. I say all this to say that I never thought I would have to see my cousin pass before me. I thought we would get old, have some kids and see each other every few years and just laugh about how crazy we were as kids. I’m just so happy I had those 3 hours with him, seeing him go on and on about how he loved nature, watching him have hope for the future, loving life to the fullest. When I struggle to get through the minor inconveniences of life, I think about my cousins smile as he talked about nature. I think about how you should just love being alive and take it all in. How lucky I am to be one in a million. Life is very very strange, but bruh is it not beautiful.
Jun 18, 2024
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My nana died recently and the funeral was probably the best day out of a terrible few weeks
I enjoyed the (sometimes farcical) performance of the Catholic ceremony, which was so disconnected from her life and personhood that you kind of had to laugh (i did this inwardly only). The priest got my granddad’s name wrong in the reading and half-sang along to the hymns as he performed the rites, the way you do when you’re listening to music while pottering about the house
I talked with family I hadn’t seen in years, or had seen and pretty much ignored because it felt easier at the time
I enjoyed noticing how there are maybe two different kinds of nose and mouth distributed among the cousins (myself included), except one girl I was convinced was a relative on the strength of her appearance turned out not to be, so maybe I was just looking for shared qualities where there aren’t any. I don’t think that is a bad thing though
Nov 4, 2024
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I can’t get enough of this song. Every time I listen to it I can’t help but imagine a happy future with someone that I love who loves me too <3
Feb 15, 2025
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It seems so simple and yet people tend to forget just how important it is to REGULARLY let the people around know how much you care and appreciate them. It can be nice to hear from other people that you care for me or you think I’m pretty or funny, but it means 1000x more coming from you!! Stop being afraid to show you care, it’s never stupid and its always appreciated
Feb 19, 2025