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my mom’s headstone is a rock with her photo package taped to it.
i am her only child and although i have a headstone picked out, i can’t bring myself to finish the job and pay for it. (plus i work in nonprofit — moneys tight friends!)
i feel like, although it’s been a year since she passed, part of me knows placing an actual headstone there would make it feel that much more real. i try not to be hard on myself about it. mostly i find grace in the fact that she would LOVE her current setup. she was ALL about anything that was free or close to it. she was the thriftiest person i will ever know. somehow she made every space beautiful, even if we didn’t have the money to decorate it.
she was the embodiment of home. and honestly, no headstone could ever do her justice.
so i suppose i will bring flowers to this laminated rock for a little bit longer.
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This is really beautiful thank you for sharing and deepest apologies for your loss ❤️🩹
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My heart goes out to you and your family, this kind of this is never easy and is generally pretty fucking terrible all around. I lost my mom in 2018 after a pretty prolonged and slow to cease battle with cancer.
When she was in end-of-life care something small that helped her feel a bit better was trying to make the space as homey as possible. Lots of pictures, her favorite blanket, and a friend of hers even brought some large stuffed animals that lived on her bed. It was something small that helped in the immediate moment.
I also echo everyone here saying to prepare for the grief but also prepare to sit with it for longer than you think you’ll need. I was only home for about a week after she passed before going back to school across the country, and not having my family/hometown network to grieve with really stunted and prolonged my healing process.
Also a bit bleak, but my mom and I were able to have a sort of ”closing” convo where we said goodbyes, and she told me her wishes for me, etc. if you’re able, it was a really powerful conversation to have and something I hold close when I’m having a particularly hard grief day (which still happen 6 years out! All part of the process)💛
May 24, 2024
my mom passed away last year, and today would have been her 54th birthday
so, i grabbed ice cream and i took it to the river. my mom and i used to get ice cream and eat it by the river a lot. my mom loved ice cream. chocolate ice cream. and she loved rivers. i also love rivers. they remind me of my mom.
grieving is hard. and it’s hard every single day. but taking moments like this — to do things that my mom and i loved to do together — reminds me of how grief is just love with nowhere to go.
today i’m basking in the love that my mom had for me, the love she had for ice cream, for rivers. and i’m sitting in how much i love her. a love that feels trapped inside me. buried. most days it feels like anger and despair and regret. but today i’m focusing on the love. how lucky i was to have a mom who made loving her so easy!
happy birthday, mom. i love you immensely
Feb 7, 2025
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I went to a funeral today. My artist godfather had painted the entire coffin of his wife, vibrantly, with hearts and birds and colours. The thought of him painting it, the expression of his love to his partner of 33 years, using the same motifs he used to paint their wedding altar, it makes me want to think of ways to show love, to mark it. Both while my loved ones are still living, and to honour those now gone. How do we honour our love? Dedicate time to it? Make our grief a beautiful masterpiece of love?
Jun 17, 2024
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makes my heart warm when i hang out with people who can RIFF with me THANK YOU
3d ago
my mom passed away last year, and today would have been her 54th birthday
so, i grabbed ice cream and i took it to the river. my mom and i used to get ice cream and eat it by the river a lot. my mom loved ice cream. chocolate ice cream. and she loved rivers. i also love rivers. they remind me of my mom.
grieving is hard. and it’s hard every single day. but taking moments like this — to do things that my mom and i loved to do together — reminds me of how grief is just love with nowhere to go.
today i’m basking in the love that my mom had for me, the love she had for ice cream, for rivers. and i’m sitting in how much i love her. a love that feels trapped inside me. buried. most days it feels like anger and despair and regret. but today i’m focusing on the love. how lucky i was to have a mom who made loving her so easy!
happy birthday, mom. i love you immensely
Feb 7, 2025