my partner and i were presented with the opportunity to move into a friendās slightly larger and more amenitied apartment up the block, but weād have to break our lease to do so lol
listed our apartment on facebook marketplace to see if anyone was interested in signing the lease so we could move, essentially just putting out feelers and seeing what happened. did not expect to receive dozens upon dozens of messages! i scheduled tours and showed like six people around, all of whom were like where can i sign! and i called our landlord twice.
met with the landlord of the new place and got the paperworkā¦.. truly in the final stepsā¦. only to get home and realize, you know what,,, weāre staying here! and it was literally such a relief to say it.
did it take hundreds of messages from people begging for me to leave my apartment to truly viscerally process that iāve got a good thing? perhaps!
but i think it was more that i had been in a scarcity mindset of like, āwhen we move and i have more space iāll be able toā¦ make the art i want; really feel at home; feel more comfortable; etc.ā and when i really dug into those feelings about it, i simply knew that my home right now presents a growth opportunity to work creatively with the space i have.
didnāt want to admit to myself that i was in that space of forcing things because i initially just wanted to move so badly, i was literally bypassing my felt experience and like, true reactions.
i also felt like it fell into our laps and was this once-in-a-lifetime thing. but really trying to now reinforce that a two bedroom w a dishwasher, balcony, and some bedrooms that look out onto the neighborsā walls is not inimitable. and i want to approach this process from a space where im resourced and generally tranquil.
so iām happy and iām not moving and im going to buy myself an $8 latte this morning to celebrate!!!!
