I've been offered a really unique, challenging job, but I'm so burnt out from my last one I don't know if I should accept it. I feel grateful and excited, and ungrateful and terrified, and like I should take it because it's stable even if I'm not.
It's resting heavy in me, knowing that my next 21 months might be so work focused when maybe I need the me focus to not just be a sassy little crisp of a human.
I have to respond today, I have no idea what I'll do xoxo
Mar 3, 2025
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i know i'm so privileged to have a chill wfh job where workload isn't high and no pressure from managers, but i also feel like something within me is dying inside. (i also definitely have undiagnosed adhd as do both my parents lol)
when i DO have to do work, it is so fucking boring and i don't care about any of it. it's just writing up boring reports. so i procrastinate having to do them all the time which leads to a kind of weird low-level ambient stress that hovers over the rest of my life. the job is essentially a dead-end as i will never get promoted. my life goal is to continue writing (i currently write a substack newsletter) and one day have a novel, which technically this job allows me the time/flexibility to work on.... but i can't help wondering if staying in all day on my computer is depriving me of richer life experiences...
don't get me wrong, i read as much as i can at home, call other friends with boring wfh jobs lol and do online courses etc, but idk.... i hate not feeling more agentic over my time. but does anyone ever? i've been offered a 2x a week PT role in a town nearby and it'll pay enough to cover rent but i'd definitely have to hussle for freelance stuff to make-up the difference, and idk if i'm ready to give up my laziness.... but is too much comfortability what life is about? GOD IDK
Oct 1, 2024
iāve worked in the arts for my entire career, mainly in art museums. iām also an independent curator and ran a gallery out of my storefront apartment for a year and a half. iāve archived photographs, led museum tours, curated exhibitions, couriered art across the country in an 18-wheeler, written wall texts, edited books, interviewed artists, fundraised, done countless studio visits, written exhibition essays, provided accessibility for disabled visitors, built a curatorial practice around working with disabled artists, project managed performances, and participated as a performer in a couple of pieces (including a Tino Sehgal).
i am immensely proud of my work and have done and seen some incredible things. iāve also worked with incredible passionate people who have the privilege and honor of making culture. but Iām also very burnt out and currently in the midst of plotting a departure from the art world, in search of a job that provides more balance. my whole job as a āmuseum workerā has been my identity for 14 years and Iām curious to see what my life looks like next. iām mediating on and grappling with the idea that we werenāt put on this planet to labor, which compounded with the effects of lockdown and the pandemic, has changed my relationship to work and having a linear career. life is too short and too precious to give all of ourselves to a job (hope that doesnāt make me sound far out or too radical).
right now Iām working with a career coach, doing informational interviews, playing with my resume and cover letter formats, and applying for a wild array of non-art / non-museum jobs. Iād love to hear if you have any insights or suggestions! itās scary making the leap but Iām trusting my gut here.
Feb 15, 2025
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Iām applying to a new role internally at my company that a colleague thinks I would be a great fit for. It would be a significant step up in my responsibilities and pay + I wouldnāt have to hustle as much as I do and could work less long hoursā¦ regardless of how this application goes thatās a huge goal for me just in general! I want to quit my self-employed work with an agency I absolutely hate in a field that Iāve never enjoyed but pursued out of convenience/necessity.
Iām a generalist with good analytical decision-making skills and can do pretty much anything if I sit down and take the time to learn it (I keep surprising myself with what I can do!) so hopefully some of the efforts Iāve put in this year will pay off in seeking a career pivot.
Would love to have more leisure time and to dedicate more effort to my creative pursuits. Going back to therapy might be a good idea because Iāve made significant progress in a lot of areas but could use help in others. I also want to umm decorate my house more and probably replace most of my wardrobeā¦
Dec 5, 2024
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I didn't know it was my favourite colour until I sat at this window, watching it get bluer and the light get yellower.
Warning: potentially a gradient.
Mar 2, 2025
I can only find it at my local and I have only had the legs to make it at home once. It was and is very good.
Disclaimer: not my photo but what a cross section!
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