šŖ
My friends and I were bored last night so we looked for things to do in our town because there's usually nothing. On Google maps we find a place that was a "boarding school for witches, ghouls, and monsters" so of course we get in the car and pull up.
Once there it is obviously a witches house. An old 1800s building with glowing pumpkins out front. Red lanterns illuminating the windows and so many random things in the backyard including a circus tent. This had to be a witches house. So we approach and knock on the door. We are pretty certain it's just someone's house but it's a Tuesday night at 7pm what's the worst that could happen.
We wait for a moment until we see a light turn on and a disheveled man in his pajamas, a big orange beard and a trucker hat opens the door and says "hello?" Looking at us quizzically. I say "hello is this ****** - boarding school for witches, ghouls and monsters? We found it on Google maps and are curious." He chuckles a little and says "let me explain. Come inside." We enter a dimly lit living room decorated with antiques and ominous knick knacks. Dozens of candles hung from the ceiling and he takes a seat on a large throne in the corner. We sit on plush antique couches as he begins to tell us about his passion project.
It turns out his whole entire home was basically an art installation and a manifesting of his life into a fantasy world story. He has lived in his artwork for atleast the last 14 years since he moved into the home and you can tell he cares about it deeply. He tells us how it's morphed and changed for years as he's lived and grown. He wants to make a TV show or a movie and that's what all of this has been for. He's done many things like haunted houses, mercantiles, fantasy experiences, but as of recently he got married 6 months ago and has 7 step children now. His art project has morphed and become more functional. Where he used to live in his characters bedroom he now lives in his own with his wife who is a costume designer. They work together to bring his story to life.
He gave us a tour of every room in his home. Each eclectically decorated with antiques and knickknacks his dedication has attracted him. One was an original glass domed framed photograph of a women's father from the early 1900s gifted to him. And strewn about the home was hundreds of dolls and doll parts. He has acquired these from a random phone call from a man he has never talked to, but he offered him $30,000 worth of antique turn of the century dolls and doll parts. This man just attracts the most amazing things.
His laundry room was half decorated as a wizards mercantile expertly hand crafted shelves and signage marked hand crafted wands, brooms, wood jewelry and so much more. He told us the story of how down in southern Utah he discovered a tri split winding tree alone in the middle of the desert. He harvested this ancient tree and turned it into 3 sister brooms all gorgeously crafted.
We talked with him for an hour and a half and we learned about his TV show he wants to start shooting this year. And about his dreams for what he wants to do with it. We gave him tips on social media and short form content to share his passion and we learned much about each other. We met a very interesting man yesterday.
Related Recs
First thing she told me about him was that he had weird style. A 2015 hypebeast who got a gig vibe curating for organic grocery stores. Thatās what she told me about him. She showed me a picture of him where he had his lips all pursed up like he was trying to show off his jawlineā but in a knowing, self-effacing ādonāt I look so silly making this handsome pouty faceā way. Shortly after she asked me to look at this picture & make fun of him & after I had complied, she told me something interesting.
āHeās got this car. Itās a complete, from scratch model of the car from that lindsay Lohan movie herbie, fully loaded.ā
I sat up, cross legged
ānot just the chassis, not just the engine, the whole thing. He found concept art & behind the scenes schematics of herbie. He tracked down each part & made absolute sure to get them as authentically as possible. He didnāt include anything unfaithful to the original vision. He mentioned something about being unable to be unfaithful to it. That working on āHimā, he kept calling the car āHimā, that this was his way of discovering what faith meant.ā
This confused me, so i asked my friend to keep explaining.
āItās likeā hereās the way he put it. Itās like this, you can get a ready made replica of just about any famous car you could dream of jsut by knowing the right people. But a replica is not āHimā. He told me that he had no interest in driving something sold to him with āauthenticityā, itās āfaithfulnessā being a POINT OF SALE.ā
I was intrigued, so I asked her point blank what she thought he got out of the whole thing. She gazed up at the ceiling for a while, I think looking at the same daddylonglegs that I was looking at earlier. The one with the big orb of eggs attached to its thorax. an orb that would burst & bring forth 10 million babydaddylonglegs into my home. After a few moments of spidergazing, she told me this, this is what she told me. Like the words were being sucked from her mouth.
āI donāt know. It might be some weird type of prayer, like heās building himself an idol or a god or a friend or a father or a lover. He told me that when heās inside āHimā, he feels in control. He feels safe. Powerful. His hands are on the wheel & Herbie responds perfectly to everything he does. Thereās no resistance, like Herbie is an extension of his own flesh almost. He insists that he can hear Herbie whisper words of encouragement to him. There was something vaguely sexual about it all. Itās weird Jake, but I couldnāt tell if he was gonna laugh or cry or kiss me. And I wanted him. Badly. It was the most honest a man had ever been with me. I havenāt been able to stop thinking about it.ā
I asked her if she planned on seeing him again.
āI donāt know. Maybe. You know I donāt have a car. Thing is that he lives far away & the drive is kind of a bitch.ā
Dec 16, 2024
āļø
Iām at the workshop of some guy to get a jacket chain stitched. The workshop is in a building behind a house in Chicago. If youāve been around here, you know what Iām talking about. The artist is this British dude that has very wild energy. Kind of reminds me of that dude from Idles, but smaller. Looks like he doesnāt shower.
So I brought him a jacket and he completely disassembled it. I start freaking out because I remember that I already have a deal with a different artist (I am actually working with IRL). At one point his mom is there and he kicks us out? So Iām just chilling in the backyard with his mom while sheās on a swing and Iām sitting at one of the many lined up picnic tables.
When he was done it was an incredibly beautiful and creative jacket, far beyond what I had asked.Ā Ā I realize that I was still getting my husband jacket made by the other artist, but this jacket was for me. I hadnāt even paid.Ā Ā I was worried about paying for another jacket.Ā Ā I was confused why he made something so intricate. Did this guy love me?Ā Ā Did I love him?Ā I sat on him and kissed him.Ā Ā He tasted like cigarettes. I started leaving and he asked if I wanted to make babies and I said I already had some.
Jul 16, 2024
š“
A big shoutout to the very kind hearted and colorful man I met at the laundromat outside Joshua Tree. All the locals seemed to know him and had sat through his tangents many times. We shared my cigs as he told me about him and his brother trying to blow a tunnel in the mountains with dynamite in the 90s, which ended with military helicopters and only the beginnings of a tunnel. He told me that he was descended from the hired guards of Vlad the Impaler. āWhen you impale that many people, you need guards.ā He said dementor-like hooded figures do strange rituals at night in the mountains there. āHarry Potter is real.ā He said Biden was the antichrist and Trump could save us, though he acknowledged his faults and said he personally loved everyone. I believe him. I donāt think he was mentally well, but he had found a way to survive and be a well-liked member of his community. His eyes were brilliant and he was generous with his cheap whiskey. I think of him often and hope he is happy
Feb 23, 2025
