š
In a world and in a political landscape where it is so easy to despair, looking into the eyes of another human being and really listening while they speak means so much. The more you seek connection with others, the more opportunities for joy and belonging will open up to you. It is so easy to feel downtrodden, isolated and afraid nowadays. My own tendencyĀ to isolate in times of stress and sadness has often left me little energyĀ to think outside of myself and my immediate circle. There are times to turn inward, but it is so much more valuable when those times ofĀ reflection are met with connection. I, like so many, have had unhealthy ways of coping with my own traumas and grief, my insecurities and broken heart. Over the last year, I have put in real work to better myself, to respect myself, and in garnering this renewed self-love, I've found I have more to give tenfold. Eating well and moving my body really does wonders, gives me more energy and inspirationĀ to take care of myself, and by proxy those around me. I suddenly want to read more, cook more, engage in more meaningful conversation, take on new projects with friends that will enrich our lives.
I've been feeling so existential and sentimental recently, in an extreme way I've never experienced before, because it is paired with the efforts I've made to treat myself differently and better. For the first time in what feels like a very long time, I actually find myself wanting to make the most of my life, of life in general, instead of lying in wait for some invisible, impending threat,Ā or even merely waiting for things to maybe work out in an acceptable, tepid way someday. I want to make the most of everything. I think this is the key to sustained happiness and hopefulnessāālistening to what your body wants, treating it as well as you can, and using the stamina you achieve to connect with others and be present in the world. It may all be doomed, but I still see beauty around me simply by not turning away from it anymore, enough beauty to really, really believe that it is such an exquisite accident to be alive.Ā
Related Recs
š§
A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I donāt remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me.
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that donāt feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, Iāve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you donāt need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and thatās really cool <3
Mar 11, 2024
šŖ
This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship thatās ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now Iām 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again
Some of the (many) things that worked for me:
- Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (Iām not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think youāre ready, itās possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever.
- On a related note, therapy was very needed!
- Start a new, group hobby where youāll see the same people each week. Not that youāll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and itās exciting to have something new in your life that isnāt tied to success on a dating app.
- Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isnāt yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you youāll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ā¤ļø
Apr 1, 2024
š
You have to force yourself to tackle the hard thing, whatever that means to you. Because the more difficult thing, itās probably the right thing, or the thing your life needs. I think for me, the hard thing was to submerge myself into genuine solitude. And Iām not talking about like, My Year of Rest and Relaxation or Leaving Las Vegas type solitudeā¦ And I am definitely not talking about anything related to the type of seclusion that came with quarantine. The objective here isnāt to isolate yourself to the point of total deterioration or to reject the people who love you. Itās about stomaching the feelings of loneliness that come with deep personal reflection. Itās about enduring the self-imposed boredom that comes with getting to know yourself without any external influence. Itās not about being physically alone (though it is a part of it), itās just about finding ways to be alone with yourself and who you are, the good and the bad, and really admitting to the bad. And then, what was at first so uncomfortable and sort of embarrassing to undertake will eventually become easy-normal. Everything outside of your solitude becomes so peripheral itās hard to remember when you existed right in the center of it all. And some people, the ones who really do buy into their socio-infallibility, will probably, yeah, consider you some misanthropic outcast! But, what my friend and I like to joke about as being misanthropy is actually just self-awareness and conviction, and belief in the improvability of everything that is or can be wrong with oneself or others... The world feels constantly disappointing, and people are disappointing, and youāre disappointing, and I am definitely disappointingā¦ But all of that can be improved upon and then improved even more, and more and moreā¦ But you canāt improve anything about yourself until you know what it is that needs improving. And even then, knowing is only the first step, knowing doesnāt mean anything if you donāt do something about it. So if any of this applies to you, maybe think about it, do something about it. Leave, find solitude, change what needs to be changed, even if itās really, really, hard to do that. And most importantlyā¦ embrace your cynicism in positive ways instead of in ways that honestly just fucking suck!
Oct 13, 2022
Top Recs from @lndsy
Iām on an instagram break plus I like you guys more so please enjoy this painting I am proud of. Referencing Boschās garden of earthly delights, specifically the third āHellā panel ā¤ļøāš„ acrylic and gouache on raw canvas!
Feb 5, 2025
š
Like I am sometimes haunted by thoughts and thinking too much can be low key scary
Jan 30, 2025
š«
High key this little community has really been helping me as of late thank you all for being dope ā¤ļø
Sep 20, 2024