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Through many years of tattooing the memorable, the impulsive, and the stupid on my body, I tend to forget that I have them, even though I technically see them every day. Every now and again, I like to do a tattoo review where I return to the site of each tattoo, reminding myself of why I got them and what the story was behind each piece. They blend in so well to my perception of my skin that I forget sometimes that once upon a time, I was some former age and I found something that meant a lot to me so I had it tattooed. And that that version of myself had her future self in mind while getting the tattoos, sending off a faraway message in a bottle, waving a twinkling greeting from forevers ago. I carry her with me everywhere I go.

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I have lots and generally stopped overthinking them after my first one. In theory, permanently marking your body is seen as an eternal commitment that carries a ton of weight, but Iā€™ve really benefitted from flipping that on its head and using tattoos as a practice to remind myself of the impermanence of life and of my body (weā€™re all going to die :)). Now I give them to myself with needles from amazon, I let friends tattoo me, I get them on a whim when Iā€™m traveling. I think a lot of people are scared of carrying physical markers of all the different people theyā€™ve been (myself included), but I think doing so is actually a great practice in self acceptanceā€”carrying all those versions of you, on you, all the time, baring them for others to see. The ones I got 4 years ago that I wouldnt get today donā€™t bother me even though I no longer resonate with them; theyā€™re a personal history of sorts. And because of the whole death thing, all tattoos are temporary :)
Mar 25, 2024
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i love coming up with different stories depending on whoā€™s asking, what mood iā€™m in, how much time i have to explain. but lately, iā€™ve totally started copping out and saying ā€˜itā€™s personalā€™ every time the topic comes up. admitting to getting something so permanent on your body ā€˜just causeā€™ šŸ¤Ŗ feels daunting, especially when most peoplesā€™ reason for never getting a tattoo is that they canā€™t decide what would be important or visually pleasing enough to have on them at all times. now, this indifference towards my silly ink has made me doubt or even dislike some of it and iā€™m not about that! at all!! my interests have always been in a state of flux but iā€™ve also always gotten so much joy from self expression and all my pointless tattoos are markers of times when that joy was there, or when i was searching for it. so as practice, hereā€™s a short intro to my latest ink šŸ¤ i got it on a whim in argentina from an artist a friend recommended. itā€™s a little streetlight on my leg and while, objectively, it means nada to me, it represents this trip where i grew closer to my friends by seeing them through the lens of their culture, the life of a friend that was lost while i was here, a person that i met that helped me grieve and made me uncover parts of me i had been caging for some time. tomorrow it might be in honor of remy, the sweet-sweet kitty that weighted-blanketed me through the whole session. either way, iā€™m cool with it.
Jan 24, 2025
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my philosophy? donā€™t worry about it. sure, youā€™re not super into, say, supernatural anymore. maybe that tattoo doesnā€™t feel relevant to your identity now. but clearly at some point it was really really important to you and thatā€™s sort of beautiful, right? i think we should all extend our past selves some grace and let our bodies be an appreciated historical record
Mar 1, 2025

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I am pretty certain that I am with the person I'm going to marry. We've been through so much together and no one in the world has ever known me as intimately as he does. My soul is crystal clear to him. And he loves me. Most importantly, he is always ready to learn even more about me and to evolve with me and to make space for me in his life, in his habits, and in his behaviour. I love him so much. I'm so lucky. I hope I find him in all my other lives. I hope we're together until the end of time.
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