I made a lot of doable New Years Resolutions at the turn of this year. Last year sucked, and I was so so soooo determined to get out of that funk. i spent the first three weeks dieting, keeping the apartment clean, saving money/paying off debt, and all that good stuff… and then all hell broke loose in every section of my life. All of it was completely out of my control! Death of a friend/coworker that left me spiraling, car problems, more surprise debt, all the worst things possible. life just absolutely took a harsh left turn and it left me feeling completely hopeless that this year could be a good one if this is how the first month was going. I spent the last two weeks in a pity party for one, thinking to myself “why even try to do better in life?” I started eating junk food again, stopped caring for myself, and essentially allowing myself to slip through the cracks I so carefully began mending just a month prior. Mourning is such a tough thing to go through, and this was the first death of someone whom I interact with on an almost daily basis. i was not okay. i still am not doing good. BUT I realized today that, unfortunately, the only way out is THROUGH. I stopped wondering how am I supposed to get through this pain, and remembered that that is exactly what I am doing. I’m getting through the tough parts of life by existing. There is no quick fix to pain and loss, you must push through, even if your knees get scraped up on the way out. I’ve decided I must pick myself up, dust myself off, and do my absolute fucking best I can this year, regardless of what life puts me through, because I deserve it.
So, my first recommendation on this website is to push through this year. take it easy, but don’t let yourself fall through the cracks. You deserve a better life than what you’ve given yourself so far. Try your best to improve on something every day and hopefully there will be a big pay off in the future you’ll be so happy you worked for.
