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still shackled... but so close to freedom.

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if you’re not on this ish what are you even doing. the feeling of liberation these give me is like nothing else. free bleeding without the stress. perfection
Feb 28, 2025
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My period is four days late and I swear it better be waiting for the supermoon/bluemoon tomorrow night and nothing else. Perhaps my body is waiting until I am able to finally harness my utmost power and potential through the hormonal portal. My insides are currently teeming with rageful anticipation…!!! I also just spent the last four days in the ocean, floating and dunking my flesh suit, (which I feel so uncomfortable in during this stage of my cycle) some of the time getting battered by waves, and drawn in by very strong currents, remembering my smallness, the earth’s vastness. And in all this waiting for my period, waiting for relief from the scattered anxieties in my head, soft but strong like cotton in the canals in my brain, and in my stomach, a dullish, empty but fibrous feeling of dread and discomfort. Please bleed!!!
Aug 19, 2024

Top Recs from @stellawella

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there is certain type of extrovert that seems to believe that if you are introverted or shy you haven't reached your full potential, like you're only a half-baked pie, waiting for someone to come "pull you out of your shell" (-_-)... i am not a flower waiting to bloom! i am not an unfinished garment! THIS IS THE DEAL! take it or leave it, don't try to shape things you don't understand into something you do. no one owes you their bared soul.
Mar 3, 2025
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Nothing fills me with dread quite like the cry of "Let's play a game!" at any social gathering. Icy hatred drips down my spine at the mention of them. The yelling, the looking at me, the boredom, the rules I can't remember, the endlessness of each round, the heightened emotions... WHY CAN'T WE JUST TALK?! ESPECIALLY in a social gathering where I don't really know many people. I have seen people I love be transformed and distorted by their competitiveness into hateful screeching banshees. It's terrying. Maybe I'm too sensitive, I don't care. I don't have a competitive bone in my body. I genuinely do not understand how a board game is an acceptable space to yell at people. Being yelled at over something that couldn't possible matter less is WORSE than being yelled at for a proper reason. The worst kind of board games are the ones that involve performing. They make me want to jump out of the nearest window. I'd rather someone brought out a crack pipe than a board game at a party.
Feb 16, 2025