We have to feel it. It sucks. But if you donāt, I think itās much harder to define success. This also makes it harder to define who you are and hope to be. This isnāt a super helpful answer.
But Iāve failed a lot. Some of failure is out of our hands, some is not. Either way knowing how it feels is helpful to developing your sense of self.
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I think we have a cultural tendency to think of success along the lines of achievement and status. we look for the indicators of success as being flashy titles, cushy salaries, awards and accolades, material luxuries, and social status (we also have a tendency to tie success to one's career, which doesn't need to be the case). These things are superficial indicators of privilege and power, however, and may not actually be linked to a successful life.
I'm more of the mindset that to be successful is to do with your life that which you feel you were meant to do, a sense of having achieved with your efforts the thing which you felt was most important for you to achieve. This can look a lot of ways, but broadly I would say that it looks like integrating your passions, competencies, capabilities, and broader lifestyle in a way that supports the pursuit of your goalsāwhether your goals are professional, personal, artistic, spiritual, whatever. And if you've really done this, positioned yourself such that you wake up each morning with a purpose or a sense of being on the path towards purpose, then getting there will feel as good as you hoped.
Now if you get to this point which you envisioned would be the landmark of having reached success and it doesn't feel like you're dedicating your efforts meaningfully towards something which brings you flourishing, then maybe this isn't your success. Does that mean you've failed? Not necessarily, it just means you're still on the path to finding your success, and that journey and that struggle can be rewarding in and of themselves. Don't pin your success to looking a certain way, don't limit yourself to only having one modality for achieving success, and don't be afraid to move your target if it's not serving you. Get to that point of being able to pour your whole self into something and you're gonna feel great.
Jan 14, 2025
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I think continually asking why you want something can help with this. When you do, you may realize the āitā you want is rooted in other people: how theyāll perceive you, if youāll be accepted by them, etc. The older Iāve gotten Iāve been better at untangling some of my desires from the ego and I think it has lead to better self-satisfaction of where I am at and where I am going. itās also allowed me to ālet goā of some dreams. Thatās sounds negative or sad but I donāt mean it so: sometimes you white-knuckle-grip an idea of yourself so hard that it destroys you! I think āletting goā doesnāt mean things wonāt happen, it means they donāt have to and that pressure alleviation can make all the difference.
Thatās not to say to never let the drive of the ego take overā¦Iām not sure we would create art/great things without it. I guess what Iām saying is that knowing the root of our desires is a key to balance and self-assuredness.
Feb 18, 2025
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I contemplate these questions often, I feel like one conclusion I have come to is learning to trust myself first. Obviously sometimes that means you could be wrong, but when you listen to yourself - in your heart & in your gut - it has the answers more often than not. Sometimes that takes going through new experiences and learning new things about yourself. Allowing it to look like whatever it needs to look like. Some say utilizing stillness will help, but for others it may be chaos that helps to gather the insight and wisdom you seek.
Apr 6, 2024
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Mar 17, 2025
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Happy valentineās day teheheā¦.consider this my valentine to my little crushes in my phone ā„
Feb 14, 2025
Sending mail is already magical as it is, but these stamps have taken it to a whole new level. Big fan.
Feb 3, 2025