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the pines have a dubious reputation: a strip-of-a-strip of hamptons-adjacent driftwood crawling with rich white gay weekend warriors desperate to party and play among the island’s native pines and its unethically-imported bamboos. this is not untrue! but i spent a month there this summer, and i found myself amused and even inspired by the pines’ inherent theatricality. every single house—for better or for worse—is a stage set for someone’s idea of gay heaven. the itinerary of every chosen fam on their weekend or week-long excursion comprises a script for a queer friend group at its absolute best: “we cook! we swim in the ocean at night! we take ghb and 2cb! we smoke cigarettes and discuss auto-fiction! we fight about auto-fiction!” the pines are possibilities
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A general rule of life is that whatever is regarded as gaudy, and douchey is probably really fun and awesome. (Ex: fast loud cars, midtown Manhattan clubs, extremely expensive cocktails.)The Hamptons is a short 2 hour drive, or ride on the Hampton Jitney from the city. Get some friends together, rent an Airbnb, and make the trip.So why don’t my contemporaries make the trip? Mostly to keep up appearances amongst their lib friend groups that no, they don’t enjoy sitting on the beach and sipping wine, they prefer sitting adjacent to the currently jerking off homeless guy in quote-on-quote Dimes Square. And no, they don’t enjoy linens and kitten heels, and no they don’t like oysters, and no they don’t enjoy bonfires, used book stores, sex on the beach, pretending to be rich, renting convertibles, overpriced cocktails, and drunkenly stumbling through cobblestone streets.NO!? You don’t like that stuff? Go get lobotomized because you’re obviously a violent threat to society.But if you do—please make the trip out to the Hamptons during the dog days of summer. DO IT. Let your annoying friends rot in the pisshole that is dimes square. Go have fun.
May 7, 2024
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one of my favorite places in the world ❤️ perfect hike, beautiful beach, slightly haunted feeling
Dec 29, 2024
Apr 27, 2024
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women watch each other; i watch my girlfriends, and i’m noticing a shift! the waning years of the trump era thrust us—the ones who date men, anyway—into serious relationships. we tweeted about our boyfriends and wore short dresses, espousing an ironic but undeniably effusive allegiance to some kind of nouveau #trad-itionalism. “feminist” became a pejorative and we lost our shit when lana dropped “norman fucking rockwell!” but now? everybody’s breaking up and getting her own apartment! the girls are sleeping around and wearing interesting pants with the tabi boots they bought during the second term of the obama administration. they’re speaking critically of “porn” in hushed tones, or in lower-case letters on twitter. as a friend of mine recently muttered, eyebrow raised: “maybe feminism made some points”
Sep 16, 2021
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club carry is a new york-based nightlife collective built around queer, femme djs of color. club carry manifests chaotic, intentional, ecstatic, decadent, and consummately safe spaces around their music: the hardest, fastest, loudest, cuntiest techno i’ve ever heard in north america. founded by dj antpuke, with a fluid roster of regulars including ariel zetina, memphy, dangerous rose, and sauscha, club carry stands alone and apart within the bottle service hellscape of new york nightlife. trans girls and boys—or, as antpuke ava calls them, “dolls and ken dolls”—get in free. the girls who go all night, and most of them do, wear wrap-around shield shades in anticipation of the sunrise
Sep 16, 2021
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the fool, also known as the clown, is a touchstone of memes concerning the self-reflexivity of one’s own silliness, or more likely her foolishness. no more: silliness is the highest form of morality. i was watching an episode of rupaul’s drag race: untucked recently—season 2, which corresponds to rupaul’s drag race season 3, because the first season had no untucked—and there was shangela: leering, musing whether or not she’d been set up to be “the fool” in the wake of some foul play involving the construction of a gown made out of hair. there is valor in being deceived, shangela! there is even glamour in looking dumb. if you’re reading this you’re uncool: so why fake it?
Sep 16, 2021