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A general rule of life is that whatever is regarded as gaudy, and douchey is probably really fun and awesome. (Ex: fast loud cars, midtown Manhattan clubs, extremely expensive cocktails.)The Hamptons is a short 2 hour drive, or ride on the Hampton Jitney from the city. Get some friends together, rent an Airbnb, and make the trip.So why don’t my contemporaries make the trip? Mostly to keep up appearances amongst their lib friend groups that no, they don’t enjoy sitting on the beach and sipping wine, they prefer sitting adjacent to the currently jerking off homeless guy in quote-on-quote Dimes Square. And no, they don’t enjoy linens and kitten heels, and no they don’t like oysters, and no they don’t enjoy bonfires, used book stores, sex on the beach, pretending to be rich, renting convertibles, overpriced cocktails, and drunkenly stumbling through cobblestone streets.NO!? You don’t like that stuff? Go get lobotomized because you’re obviously a violent threat to society.But if you do—please make the trip out to the Hamptons during the dog days of summer. DO IT. Let your annoying friends rot in the pisshole that is dimes square. Go have fun.
May 7, 2024
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the pines have a dubious reputation: a strip-of-a-strip of hamptons-adjacent driftwood crawling with rich white gay weekend warriors desperate to party and play among the island’s native pines and its unethically-imported bamboos. this is not untrue! but i spent a month there this summer, and i found myself amused and even inspired by the pines’ inherent theatricality. every single house—for better or for worse—is a stage set for someone’s idea of gay heaven. the itinerary of every chosen fam on their weekend or week-long excursion comprises a script for a queer friend group at its absolute best: “we cook! we swim in the ocean at night! we take ghb and 2cb! we smoke cigarettes and discuss auto-fiction! we fight about auto-fiction!” the pines are possibilities
Sep 16, 2021
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I’ve spent my whole life visiting the cape, both to see family and to vacation, so it is with plenty of bias I say that it is an easy favorite spot of mine. The coast is peppered with those absolute classic coastal towns, each with their own “flavor” — local shops, lobster shacks, deep-sea fishing excursions, there’s everything you could want - but most of what you’ll do is the perfect amount of nothing. And what can match the relaxation of a stay at a small seaside home in one of the many quaint cape towns? Recently, we stayed at a cozy little BNB with books shelved all over the house (over doorways, up the staircase), and I was reminded just how perfect it is to walk to the local beachfront with a random book you did no research on.
Jun 2, 2022
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The best place on Earth. Drive the Old King's Highway from the bridge to Orleans. Drink a scorpion bowl at Double Dragon, the only Chinese place with a waterfront deck. Stare at the Atlantic until you lose yourself. Drink $3 pints at the Quarterdeck, start a fight, get kicked out, and walk to the 19th Hole. Watch the college kids play baseball under the lights in the summertime. Bike among the old homes and imagine the colonial 1750's. Catch a sunfish and throw it back in.
Nov 16, 2023
Top Recs from @william-mahony
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People don’t public drink in NYC because they’re afraid of tickets. “OH NOOO! I might get a $25 ticket!!!” Bro what? I’d rather pay 25 bucks for drinking a tall boy and people watching at a park then spend $30 on a shitty espresso martini from any number of New York’s sardine can bars. Stella in a Brown bag, people watching, cigarettes, talking with your best buds, and vitamin D.
May 7, 2024
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Living in the city amongst broke 20-somethings for so long has made me forget about Big Ass TVs. But whenever you go to somebody's crib with a TV over 70 inches, you think “Wow, this is dope.”“It’s fine I'll just watch it on my laptop.”Trust me. It’s not.Pairs well with: Sport Betting
May 7, 2024
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Renaissance fairs cost like $40 for admission. With that you get to spend all day with your buddies walking around a sort of ratchet medieval town. A mix of disney, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a nice dose of traveling methhead carny. I went to one a few weeks ago 40 minutes outside of LA. A couple beers on the drive over, a buzzball in the parking lot and some shooters in your pockets to avoid the taxed prices of drinks inside and you’re good to go. Have so much fun.
May 7, 2024