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best friend and i were yapping about how important it is to actually be celibate for a while and maybe even not date for a bit when you're single instead of hooking up until you find a partner. it sucks for a little bit and you are really forced to confront your demons and then one day you forget about it. whatever floats your boat but i think it's probably good for the soul to be celibate here and there and focus on other shit. i'll go like a whole year like it's nobody's business
Jan 27, 2024
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going celibate until I release my album (slated for July) — maybe Orgy release show? 🤔
ok, so, I am currently on day 107 no boinking — this includes solo boink. this is the longest I have gone since the dawn of my extensive sensual history.
what I intended was to focus my creative horny energy into my music and other ventures— and it has been all that and more.
the clarity through which I am engaging in my environment is unparalleled. no longer marred by my desire to squirt, I am venturing into the unknown corners of my cobwebbed mind and doing a spring cleaning.
I got a life changing job opportunity. album almost done. music video filmed. single submitted. friendships flourishing. gratitude and abundance abounds. breakthroughs in therapy. only flirted with one ex(the one I just can’t, and may never, quit) but now found the restricted feature on insta dms and now if I want to send him a meme I have to check myself first.
truly the only thing that has disturbed my peace in this whole experience is the movie Dracula (1992)— which I will go into at a later date.
I will say that the Femcel experiment is not for everyone— but if you have relationship trauma which impedes your dating discernment, I recommend giving it a shot.
I have decided to further extend my celibacy until I can confidently understand what I want in a relationship, both from myself and for myself. but for now, I can confidently and simply say, I am looking for More.
once again, getting what I want requires great determination and fortitude, and I am willing to sacrifice whatever I need to, to give it to myself.
May 1, 2024
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I'm 25 and have never been in a serious relationship. In fact, the only time that I haven't been single was for two-ish months when I was 15. I'll go on a dates and hangout with someone for a month or so every 2-3 years but nothing ever comes out of. That's either bc they don't want anything serious or we just don't vibe together. To put the final nail in my coffin, I don't take dating apps seriously enough to find anything worth it on there too.
It can be lonely, and I find myself occasionally doubting my worth to the world around me... But then I talk to people who are in relationships and hear the shit they have to deal with, and it's like an instant cure to all loneliness and self doubt LOL.
I also just enjoy my time alone to be honest. I also lovvve love love having the whole bed to myself and my cat (he takes up enough room as is bc he loves to lay horizontally haha). I, along with everyone else who has ever existed, have problems that I want to work out in my life before I go out and actively search for a partner.
When I need company, I have my friends to pour my love onto! I spend a lot of time with them doing things that are fulfilling such as community work, learning crafts, watching movies and discussing them.
I will always save space in my heart to finding someone I love romantically, but for now I am focusing on having fun, building a good friend group, taking care of my mind/body/soul. I've accepted that the romance will come when I am ready for it.
Feb 27, 2025
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Feels reallllllllly tempting following a romantic fallout to "get back out there" for several reasons: to prove (to yourself?) that you are desirable, to fill a void left by ex partner, to see if things feel different with other people, to try to comfort yourself with the knowledge that not everyone is as shitty as the last person u dated. (sidenote: spend time with the question of what it fulfills for you)
This is rarely ever the right move. At least in my experience. I've literally caused myself psychic damage by jumping back in too fast lol. As cliche as it is, the best advice I have is to spend time (LIKE, TIMEEEEE. months) "dating yourself." You will gain confidence, learn more about yourself + have space from the event that leaves you feeling like dating is so difficult right now. Time really does heal all wounds...but jumping right back into dating is like picking a scab.
Fill up your cup in other ways in the meantime. Eventually, it will feel more natural/comfortable for you to ease back into dating - instead of trying to cram yourself into it and thinking that there's something wrong with you/you've sustained permanent damage because it's difficult. Your wounds won't be as fresh and you'll have a clearer picture of what you can/can't tolerate in a romantic relationship. It's hard! But u can do it! <3
Apr 1, 2024
Top Recs from @visceralscenery
seems like up till maybe 50 years ago if you knew the right guy with a printing press you could get some wild credit for being the first person to have a mostly normal thought. no matter how poorly you articulated it! sometimes it feels like the only sane thing to do is create your own critical framework....you are no less powerful than These Guys. they just made some of this stuff up
Jan 24, 2024
Apr 20, 2024
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free entertainment and inspiration. the netherlands facilitates this especially well but you can do it in other places just fine a lot of the time. i love seeing the warmth of a stranger's home and their plants and weird lamps and maybe a cat. sometimes you get to watch people hang out with each other or share a hug
Jan 27, 2024